You might be a boater if...

[VetteLT193]

Here's an attempt at a fun thread... in the flavor of Jeff Foxworthy's redneck jokes, let's do boater jokes.



You might be a boater if... your credit card bill is so big the mailman delivers it with a forklift.

[Carl C]

You just might be a boater if.........you go stir crazy when the lakes are frozen.

[DonziJon]

Carl..Carl..Carl: Here we go again...Phantom AVATAR. WHAT am I missing? Is this a special rope? Never mind.....:nilly: John

[tmdog]

You are NOT a boater if you stiff a seller by not answering PM's about a item
he was interested in. :mad:
Clue: screen name starts with a "V"

[Ed Donnelly]

You just might be a boater if...your deck is shinier than your bald head...Ed


Hmmmm V, now thats a tough one

[Ghost]

...if you hang your extension cords like this:
http://www.donzi.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=43483&stc=1&d=1235090068



and your bikes like this:
http://www.donzi.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=43482&stc=1&d=1235090186


http://www.donzi.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=43481&stc=1&d=1235090068


P.S. The horrible carpentry and nail disaster in the first pic came with the house. I just haven't gotten there yet...

[f_inscreenname]

You might be a boater when the owner of the local gas station smiles every time you pull up.

[Ghost]

...if you know an unopened bottle of beer will sink without a cozy, but a can will float.

[Carl C]

You might be a boater if you go in the garage and polish the chrome on the Donzi in February.:nilly:

[Ghost]

...if you didn't lose your ability to shut off a gas nozzle by yourself back in the 80s.

[Donziweasel]

You might be a boater is you think a great gift for your wife is a new prop. :bonk:

[hardcrab]

You might be a boater if you know the word is not pronounced "gun - whale"

[Conquistador_del_mar]

You might be a boater if you are asked to crawl around in a bilge, and you welcome the opportunity.

[Donziweasel]

You might be a boater if your best shirt has "Donzi" embrodiered on it.

[Donziweasel]

You might be a boater if you think 20 gallons per hour is good fuel mileage.

[sweet 16 1966]

OK,

If you drive 800 miles in February to run the boat & see the show.

[HOWARD O]

You might be a boater when your old, cantankerous neighbor, who takes his 18' skiff out everyday w/out fail, is fishing dead nutz in the middle of the channel and YOU slow way down and give him a wide berth. Then he doesn't acknowledge your wave and thinks the river is actually all his!

You might be a boater when, on the return trip, same old sorry fart is in the channel again, only this time he gets a taste of a loud big block going by his sorry, non-wavin' ass at 60 mph.

And I am going to scare his fish away tomorrow morning too, by God! :yes: Must have a thing against speedboats, so I am going to give him an excuse not to like them.

[HOWARD O]

You might be a boater when you pick up your new Donzi, lose a trailer bearing in S. Carolina at night, limp to a Walmart parking lot and sleep there in the truck.....all the while not caring at all because you finally have your Donzi and life is good, broken down or not! :kingme:

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if you take off your socks and put on your topsiders to shovel the snow off your deck( not the deck of the house the deck of your 25 foot pontoon )



hey carl if you keep polishing your chrome you're gonna go blind

or worse get worts

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if you use a bilge pump instead of a drain plug in your bath tub

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if you have anchors on your boxer shorts

[mattyboy]

boat'er **** i don't even know her

[Carl C]

hey carl if you keep polishing your chrome you're gonna get worts

Worts are cheaper than dinner and a movie.

You might be a boater if you put up with 8 months of northern winter because 4 months on the Great Lakes makes it worth it.

[Ghost]

You might be a boater if "liquid rope whipping" doesn't (always) sound kinky.

[mattyboy]

Worts are cheaper than dinner and a movie.




so you're saying your first mate on the over nite in the 22 cuddy didn't get to eat ????

[mattyboy]

You might be a boater if "liquid rope whipping" doesn't (always) sound kinky.



if you get a kink in your liquid rope boy is that gonna hurt

[Donziweasel]

so you're saying your first mate on the over nite in the 22 cuddy didn't get to eat ????

lmao!

[Cuda]

You just might be a boater if...your deck is shinier than your bald head...Ed
Hmmmm V, now thats a tough one


That's funny no matter who you are! :)

[Cuda]

You might be a boater when you pick up your new Donzi, lose a trailer bearing in S. Carolina at night, limp to a Walmart parking lot and sleep there in the truck.....all the while not caring at all because you finally have your Donzi and life is good, broken down or not! :kingme:
You might be a boater, if when buying your Donzi, you are in such a hurry to leave, that you don't take up the offer of squirting a little bearing grease into a trailer that has been sitting for a year. :)

[Cuda]

Worts are cheaper than dinner and a movie.

You might be a boater if you put up with 8 months of northern winter because 4 months on the Great Lakes makes it worth it.
A fool also has the same criteria. :)

[Cuda]

Worts are cheaper than dinner and a movie.

You might be a boater if you put up with 8 months of northern winter because 4 months on the Great Lakes makes it worth it.


The word cheap and boat should never be used in the same subject.

[Cuda]

You might be a boater if you can sit in a cold shower, tearing up hundred dollar bills as fast as you can with a smile on your face.

[Carl C]

so you're saying your first mate on the over nite in the 22 cuddy didn't get to eat ????

If dinner and a movie precede sex, that would be correct sir.

You just might be a boater if you cross Lake Erie in a 22 foot boat.

[Carl C]

You just might be a boater if you can sleep 2 couples in a 22 Classic.:eek:

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if...... you walk in west marine and all the sales guys yell your name like the crowd did in cheers when norm came in

[Carl C]

You just might be a boater if....instead of getting prepared for a busy evening at the store you spend the morning on Donzi.net.

[Carl C]

The word cheap and boat should never be used in the same subject.

You might be a boater if you pay 3 times what things are worth because they are for "marine use".

[VetteLT193]

You are NOT a boater if you stiff a seller by not answering PM's about a item
he was interested in. :mad:
Clue: screen name starts with a "V"

asked if paypal was ok, got busy for a day working on the boat and other crap, was talking to my brother on the phone and he told me you sold the prop already based on posts here. I didn't realize you were in such a rush to sell.

I figured biz was biz, I was too slow, too bad for me so I moved on. I certainly apologize if I offended you in any way. I've spent thousands of dollars buying parts off of members of this forum alone and never had a problem.

[mattyboy]

You just might be a boater if....instead of getting prepared for a busy evening at the store you spend the morning on Donzi.net.


no that don't make you a boater, doesn't make you a bad person either , just makes you a donzi.netophile


you might be a boater if..... you know a sheep shank ain't something you eat

[Cuda]

If dinner and a movie precede sex, that would be correct sir.

You just might be a boater if you cross Lake Erie in a 22 foot boat.

If you can convince her to do it in the cuddy of a 22, YOU DA MAN!

[Cuda]

You might be a boater if you pay 3 times what things are worth because they are for "marine use".
There is a simple formua I use when buying marine parts. Just find the cost of the same automotive part, then move the decimal point one space to the right.

[Ghost]

You just might be a boater if you can sleep 2 couples in a 22 Classic.:eek:

Or you might be Caligula.

[Ghost]

You might be a boater if most of the women you know line up to drop trou and take a leak 6 feet from you.

Or you might be Caligula.

[Carl C]

I just spent way too much time reading about Caligula and the only thing I can say is I want to see the movie. Something about containing every sexual perversion imaginable. Even Roger Ebert said it was disgusting...:popcorn:

You might be a boater if you want to have an orgy on a Donzi at Put-In-Bay.

[chappy]

I just spent way too much time reading about Caligula and the only thing I can say is I want to see the movie. Something about containing every sexual perversion imaginable. Even Roger Ebert said it was disgusting...:popcorn:

You might be a boater if you want to have an orgy on a Donzi at Put-In-Bay.

You do realize you hit submit instead of preview there don't ya, birthday boy?:)

[Air 22]

You might be a boater if you think 20 gallons per hour is good fuel mileage.


Good one...:wink: we hooked up the laptop to the HP500EFI yesterday...at idle...780-800rpm...it sips 1.7-1.9gph.....:yes::)

[Carl C]

Sounds like I'm missing something about Caligula:nilly:http://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:OvbpdBDcUDWSaM:http://www.moldova-hotels.md/img/foto_clubs/Caligula_foto.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.moldova-hotels.md/img/foto_clubs/Caligula_foto.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.moldova-hotels.md/clubs.php&usg=__NPc3FP35-GhhgRAPU9JdeuGRFLQ=&h=235&w=499&sz=58&hl=en&start=87&tbnid=OvbpdBDcUDWSaM:&tbnh=61&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3DCaligula%26start%3D80%26gbv%3D2%26nds p%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)http://tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:2xyTj-bENWmaPM:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Gaius_Caesar_Caligula.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Gaius_Caesar_Caligula.jpg&imgrefurl=http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gaius_Caesar_Caligula.jpg&usg=__mYlgUnCTCv22UCAEJd1OJQP32Xs=&h=1164&w=850&sz=404&hl=en&start=88&tbnid=2xyTj-bENWmaPM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=110&prev=/images%3Fq%3DCaligula%26start%3D80%26gbv%3D2%26nds p%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)http://tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:Oo17M2QOtfyRTM:http://images.dead-donkey.com/images/caligula1cc8.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.dead-donkey.com/images/caligula1cc8.jpg&imgrefurl=https://forum.dead-donkey.com/viewtopic.php%3Ff%3D33%26t%3D13551&usg=__GesS6jjd4SWYJGbNuz5jVqwngAY=&h=432&w=576&sz=31&hl=en&start=89&tbnid=Oo17M2QOtfyRTM:&tbnh=101&tbnw=134&prev=/images%3Fq%3DCaligula%26start%3D80%26gbv%3D2%26nds p%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)http://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:b4JpKoYSoZsgIM:http://www.ribekatedralskole.dk/classica/personer/caligula/caligula2farve.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.ribekatedralskole.dk/classica/personer/caligula/caligula2farve.jpg&imgrefurl=http://portraitsofcaligula.com/3/miscellaneous13.htm&usg=__LOYv6R1I3mA3Q2rgPyqrc5Cg43w=&h=700&w=470&sz=50&hl=en&start=90&tbnid=b4JpKoYSoZsgIM:&tbnh=140&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3DCaligula%26start%3D80%26gbv%3D2%26nds p%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)Caligula
413 x 483 - 68k - jpg
www.ideal-alpaca.comCaligula Chisinau, Negruzzi bd.
499 x 235 -

[Carl C]

More:

http://verlag.pib-zentrum.de/dvd/Caligula.gif

Remember the dumbstruck, jaw-dropped expressions on "Springtime for Hitler's" shocked opening-night audience in Mel Brooks's original film of The Producers? That will no doubt be your face through much of the two-and-a-half-hour running time of this infamous 1979 pornographic epic that was a (Penthouse) pet project of publisher Bob Guccione. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But don't take our word for it. Listen to Helen Mirren--yes, the Oscar-winning Queen herself--who stars as Caesonia, Caligula's third wife and "the most promiscuous woman in Rome" (and in this film's salacious vision of Pagan Rome, that is saying something). In her very gracious, thoughtful and candid audio commentary that alone is worth the price of this set, she remarks, "I think it's a movie that is unlike any other, which is difficult to achieve." And for those of a more prurient bent, she adds, "It has an awful lot of bottoms." Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange) gives a brave and fearless performance as Caligula, the hated and feared emperor corrupted by absolute power and no doubt voted Most Likely to Be Assassinated. The film unflinchingly charts his plummet into madness and the brutality of his reign in scenes of hardcore sex and violence that cannot be described here ("I can't watch," Mirren cries to her interviewers over one scene in which unfortunate characters are beheaded by a blade-spinning combine. "I can't even listen to it").

[hardcrab]

You ARE a boater if you know and appreciate the difference between a Donzi and a Bayliner.

:yes: :shades: :lifeprese: :):alligator:yes: :shark: :cool!: :lobster: :wink: :shades:

[mattyboy]

You just might be a boater if you can sleep 2 couples in a 22 Classic.:eek:

i don't think boating had anything to do with it :eek:

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if........ you have a LGDCC calendar on your fridge

[BUIZILLA]

:yes:

[boxy]

You might be a boater if your idea of a good time is more sausage on the grill than there is in the boat .....

[Carl C]

Caligula, yes that will be me at Put-In-Bay. Two can go up front under the bow and the two pedastal seats will pop off and set on the rear seat so another couple can lay diagonally across the floor. There WILL be ho's involved and I don't mean the HO under the engine hatch.:yes::pimp: Actually I could prolly fit two chickies up front with me.:eek::party:

You might be a boater if you'd rather get laid on the boat than in the bedroom.:yes:

[chappy]

You might be a boater if you believe the cliche';

"The two happiest days of a boaters life is the day the boat is bought, and the day it gets sold"

is a pile of $hit.

[Cuda]

Or you might be Caligula.
He'd just lop of the heads of the ones that didn't fit.

[Cuda]

I just spent way too much time reading about Caligula and the only thing I can say is I want to see the movie. Something about containing every sexual perversion imaginable. Even Roger Ebert said it was disgusting...:popcorn:

You might be a boater if you want to have an orgy on a Donzi at Put-In-Bay.
I don't think that make you a boater, that makes you Caligula.:eek:

[VetteLT193]

You might be a boater if... you hope Jeopardy asks: "This is what 1-8-4-3-6-5-7-2 is commonly referred to"

yeah, it hasn't happened, but they sure ask a whole lot of useless crap :popcorn:

[BlownCrewCab]

How Bout,....If you Don't even Own a Boat anymore and still spend 75% of your awaken hours on the internet talking about them.:nilly: Is it an addiction??? I think not...It's a Love:yes:

[hardcrab]

You might be a boater if :

you are an immigrant living in south florida who speaks little to no english

[HOWARD O]

You might be a boater, if when buying your Donzi, you are in such a hurry to leave, that you don't take up the offer of squirting a little bearing grease into a trailer that has been sitting for a year. :)

What the hell kind of fun would that have been? :cool:

[HOWARD O]

You might be a boater if :
you are an immigrant living in south florida who speaks little to no english

Funny!! Clever too!!! :yes:

[BUIZILLA]

You might be a boater if :

you are an immigrant living in south florida who speaks little to no english that's not a boater, that's a floater...:lobster:

[mattyboy]

Caligula, yes that will be me at Put-In-Bay. Two can go up front under the bow and the two pedastal seats will pop off and set on the rear seat so another couple can lay diagonally across the floor. There WILL be ho's involved and I don't mean the HO under the engine hatch.:yes::pimp: Actually I could prolly fit two chickies up front with me.:eek::party:
You might be a boater if you'd rather get laid on the boat than in the bedroom.:yes:
that is just disturbing, i had to go back a check i was in the you maybe a boater thread not the you might be an old pervert thread :eek:
:confused:
you might be a boater if you know what the following formula will tell you
RPM divided by RATIO X PITCH divided by 1215.2 X SLIP = ????????

[hardcrab]

You might be a boater if :


You are reading this.

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if


you have your name on the golden prop of knowledge

[boxy]

There must be a photo of all of Team TSL somewhere.......

[hardcrab]

You might be a boater if :


you wear socks only when absolutely necessary.

[Donzi Vol]

...if you think that it's ok to wake up a whole hotel by launching the Donzi at 3am rather than 8am.

[Donzi Vol]

you might be a boater if you believe the cliche';

"the two happiest days of a boaters life is the day the boat is bought, and the day it gets sold"

is a pile of $hit.

amen!

[mattyboy]

this guy is a boater, reminded me of my uncle who past away this summer he gave me my first boat :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeE92WVe_so

[mattyboy]

you might be a boater if you can tell me what the white ski boat is in that video??? looks like a bertram with the strakes up front but i don't know

[Ghost]

you might be a boater if you can tell me what the white ski boat is in that video??? looks like a bertram with the strakes up front but i don't know

Don't know either--the hull looks as Bertramy as anything to me. Did Cobalt or anybody else do any Bert clones like they did Donzi clones? The dark interior reminds me of some early Cobalt interiors. Not sure I ever saw a Bertram that wasn't nearly all white inside, with at most a littlle bit of blue vinyl. The windshield looks like the one on mid 60s Bertram 25s to me.

Somebody here has got to be able to ID it.

[BUIZILLA]

Lancer or Coronet ?

[Ghost]

I thought about CC Lancers, but I haven't yet been able to find any pics where the strakes didn't come up above the waterline and converge on the centerline. Then I found this, some other early glass Chris pics:

http://www.chris-craft.org/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=1898&sid=dcdd67f2a7606bba18cc869acd2c92d2

But nothing looked quite like a match. Same with the Coronets I found so far. It's got me stumped.