Kids going away for a couple of weeks

[onesubdrvr]

Well, on July 18th, Momma and the 4 girls are taking a trip to Califonia and Tahoe. So, me and my 2 year old son will be sporting the bachelor pad for a little over a week :wink:

After the first week, momma and my 2 youngest girls are coming home, and the two oldest girls will be staying in California and seeing their mother for the first time in nearly 5 years.

It was an ugly situation when they came to live here, and I must honestly say, I'm a bit worried about them being there with her, but what is to be will be. Luckily my ex-wifes father and I get along really well, and he is pretty close to where she is at if there is a problem.

My ex-wife has had drug problems, and boyfriend selection problems / etc. and while I understand that some people can learn to cope with these problems, it is honestly in the back of my mind that the kids are going to be exposed to "the old ways" before their two week visit is up.

Oh well, just wanted to vent a little, though my wife and I have been talking about this for weeks now, sometimes I need to vent to my friends.

Wayne

[gcarter]

That's tough Wayne. I understand the fear. And I'm grateful I've not had to deal w/it. I hope it goes well.
Start watching Dr. Phil, he covers stuff like this frequently.

[sweet 16 1966]

My thoughts are with you Wayne but 5 years of good trumps
2 weeks of bad.

[onesubdrvr]

Thanks guys,

I must say, I do have some mixed emotions. I would have thought by this time that I'd have no worries, but the past 5 years have been a lot tougher than I expected, and while the girls have made much progress, they really aren't where they should be socially, emotionally or responsibly.

This could of course be a blessing in disguise; we've been trying to teach them respect for things (in general), and why it's important to take care of things (house, cloths, etc.), and they are struggling there - it's almost too easy for them now, because they know it'll be taken care of. When they go see their mom, it's going to be a totally different story; maybe they'll appreciate being here a little more.

I know that if I wanted to fight it, I could make sure they didn't go, but I think they need to at least see their mom again, I mean, after nearly five years of not seeing her (by their mothers choice), who knows when she'll want to see them again.

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes, I'll let y'all know how it works out.

Wayne

[BigGrizzly]

Give the kids a little more credit, When I started sponsoring riders I would bring in my 5 year old and sit him there. After the guy left I would ask what he thinks, he was never wrong. When I got a divorce it was ugly on our parts. She did every thing to undermine me. When he turned 14 He cane to live with me, his choice. He knew when she lied and when she didn't. The key is don't degrade the other one in front of the children.

[onesubdrvr]

Grizz,

I think that perhaps I'm wondering if I have done what needs to be done to have taught them to make the right decisions / etc.

Kids are resilient, smart, and very perceptive - but again, perhaps it's all me wondering if I've made the right decisions / etc. Kind of a 4 year reality check.

Thanks again
Wayne

[onesubdrvr]

Knowing you, you've done as good of a job as anyone instilling the basic values in your kids.. I would have to think it's going to be tough for the ex to undo that..
Thank-you Scott, I appreciate the kind words :)

Wayne

[BigGrizzly]

Wayne, don't underestimate Your children or YOUR upbringing of them. The reality check is nice as a gage. I wondered if I had gotten through also. Now I hare my oldest son telling my younger son the things I told him. I find myself explaining things to my kids what my parents have told me. Relax and enjoy the piece and quiet for the few days.