Tony
01-17-2008, 07:37 PM
Third place is pretty funny, and so is the award winner...
>> "THINNING THE HERD" 2007>>DARWIN AWARD WINNERS
> >Eighth Place: In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck
and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head
first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate while trying
to retrieve his car keys.
> >Seventh Place: A 49-year-old San Francisco
stockbroker -- who often bragged he was "totally-zoned
when he ran" -- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot
high cliff on his daily workout.
> >Sixth Place: While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21,
dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and
had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when
it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach used their hands and shovels
trying to get him out but could not reach him.It took
rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to
free him.Jones was pronounced dead at a local
hospital.
> >Fifth Place: Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he
fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his
hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit
the floor.
> >Fourth Place: Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put
a revolver loaded with four cartridges into his mouth
and pull the trigger.
> >Third Place: After stepping around a marked police
patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into
H & J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.
The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer
was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer,
the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a
few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a
clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
also drew their guns and fired. The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime
scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23
gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from
seven different weapons. No one else was hurt.
> >HONORABLE MENTION: Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife
Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so
they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the
window to create some excitement. Apparently they
failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
several friends when one of them said they knew a
person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in
the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway
of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint
of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought
a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
cable lay nearby. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and tied the other to the bridge. His
fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued
by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never
located.
> >AND THE 2007 WINNER IS...>>Zookeeper Friedrich
Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his constipated>
elephant 22 doses of a animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries,figs and prunes, before the
plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give
the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the beast
suddenly unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's
unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the
ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on
top of him. It seems to be just one of thoser freak
accidents that once again proves..."**** happens!"
:beer:
>> "THINNING THE HERD" 2007>>DARWIN AWARD WINNERS
> >Eighth Place: In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck
and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head
first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate while trying
to retrieve his car keys.
> >Seventh Place: A 49-year-old San Francisco
stockbroker -- who often bragged he was "totally-zoned
when he ran" -- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot
high cliff on his daily workout.
> >Sixth Place: While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21,
dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and
had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when
it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach used their hands and shovels
trying to get him out but could not reach him.It took
rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to
free him.Jones was pronounced dead at a local
hospital.
> >Fifth Place: Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he
fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his
hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit
the floor.
> >Fourth Place: Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put
a revolver loaded with four cartridges into his mouth
and pull the trigger.
> >Third Place: After stepping around a marked police
patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into
H & J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.
The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer
was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer,
the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a
few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a
clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
also drew their guns and fired. The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime
scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23
gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from
seven different weapons. No one else was hurt.
> >HONORABLE MENTION: Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife
Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so
they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the
window to create some excitement. Apparently they
failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
several friends when one of them said they knew a
person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in
the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway
of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint
of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought
a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
cable lay nearby. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and tied the other to the bridge. His
fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued
by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never
located.
> >AND THE 2007 WINNER IS...>>Zookeeper Friedrich
Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his constipated>
elephant 22 doses of a animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries,figs and prunes, before the
plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give
the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the beast
suddenly unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's
unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the
ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on
top of him. It seems to be just one of thoser freak
accidents that once again proves..."**** happens!"
:beer: