View Full Version : Letting the cat out of the bag
I guess I should let the cat out of the bag. Debbie left me last Thursday. She's staying at a mother in law's apartment, behind her best friend's house. She came by a couple times, and she stopped by here this morning, on her way to pick up Kyle, and go to her mom's for Christmas. I wanted to go so bad, but I've got to give her some space. I've been a bear to live with this past few months, and I'm sure I'm taking more than her fair share out of it on her, a lot because of a financial squeeze, which I'm just turning the corner on.
I'm doing everything in my power to get her back. I sent a dozen beautiful roses to her work yesterday, with only, "I love you", written on the card. I miss her so badly. It's going to be a depressing Christmas without her. 11 years, and I am praying it's not over. I never thought I could feel this way again. When I got divorced, 16 years ago, I swore I'd never love that way again. I lied.
gcarter
12-22-2007, 01:05 PM
Joe, I was wondering when you were going to stop kidding yourself about her. It was so obvious to all the rest of us.
It's times like these when you find out what you're relly like inside. When a person comes under really unbearable pressure, that's when the real you comes out.
I bet it really hurt to see her leave. Suck it up and take this opportunity to get everything in order. You're going to do fine. The first and most important thing is you and your finances. Get all that straightened out. After all that, then work on her.
Be patient, it'll all work out.
Joe, I was wondering when you were going to stop kidding yourself about her. It was so obvious to all the rest of us.
It's times like these when you find out what you're relly like inside. When a person comes under really unbearable pressure, that's when the real you comes out.
I bet it really hurt to see her leave. Suck it up and take this opportunity to get everything in order. You're going to do fine. The first and most important thing is you and your finances. Get all that straightened out. After all that, then work on her.
Be patient, it'll all work out.
I don't see how it was so obvious. The only important thing is to get her to want me back. I can't make her do that.
Donziweasel
12-22-2007, 01:36 PM
Joe, I am really sorry to hear about Debbie. My only advice is not to chase her. I lost a good one that way. You are absolutly right that you can not change the way she feels, only she can do that and it is up to her heart. Let her go for now and if it is meant to be, she will come back.
If you need to get away for a while, you are more than welcome to come visit. A little snow, Wyoming sunshine and good freinds might help. Anyway, you will be in Boo Boo and my prayers. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you.
Thanks DW. You are right, I've often said holding a relationship is like holding a wet bar of soap, you have to hold it gently, the harder you squeeze it, the more likely it is to slip out of your hands. I've never been that way with Debbie, I think the finacial crunch I've had all year was a lot of it, and it's not really because of the money situation, it's just that I'm feeling the pressure, and she gets more of it than she deserves.
I don't want to tell my mom and dad. My mom will remember distinctly how badly I took that one, and she will worry herself sick over it. I dove in a bottle, and stayed there three years. At least I haven't tried that approach this time.
superhatz
12-22-2007, 05:00 PM
Sorry to hear that Joe. My girlfriend of only 5 years just left me a month ago and I thought I was going to die from heartbreak.
I too have been having a hard time with my business in the past few years. I was a hard guy to be around but it's getting better and I'm optimistic.........then she left.
I quit drinking 7 years ago and it's been hard not to just go get tanked.
Hang in there man......
Aaron
I'm feeling better! Debbie just called because she thought my number was the last on her phone, but it shouldn't have been. Anyway, she sounds so much more full of life than she has for weeks! I figured being around her kids and parents would cheer her up, but I didn't know it would do this much for her spirit. I told her it sounded great hearing life in her voice again. I'm by no means home clear, but she sounded for the first time actually enjoyed talking to me. We were on the phone quite a while, she even had to call me back twice with bank info, because I have no idea of my pin numbers or anything. She may call again tonight. I sure hope so! My spirits are lifted beyond anything I was expecting today. Still working, but there is a glimmer of hope.
DonziChick
12-22-2007, 09:21 PM
Cuda - I am sorry to hear that she moved out. I hope that all works out well for both of you. I know how hard it must be.
Lenny
12-22-2007, 09:59 PM
Joe, bin there. All I can say is "let it roll". It will shape up in whatever form it needs to be. I would not bend over backwards to try and fix this. I would let it go where it needs to.
In my case, I went through the same thing, lost my wife to another "guy" (employee), lost my 2 girls from my house and watching them grow up. 13 and 5 at the time(kindergarten) . What I remember MOST was watching my 5 year old, with her packed lunch, going to school for the first time and looking at the two of us and asking why we can't live in the same house. ? BRUTAL. I thought it was the end. I was a total mess, and I mean MESS.
In hindsight, it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. I am now happy, got a great gal out of the deal, and I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I don't think we have had an argument yet and it's been 5 years in the same house.
Take care, I know this is hard. Bin there, as you have, and done that. If you want to chat, call me. 250-474-4005. I am three hours behind you ;) .
Lenny :)
Jraysray
12-22-2007, 11:25 PM
I'm feeling better! Debbie just called because she thought my number was the last on her phone, but it shouldn't have been. Anyway, she sounds so much more full of life than she has for weeks! I figured being around her kids and parents would cheer her up, but I didn't know it would do this much for her spirit. I told her it sounded great hearing life in her voice again. I'm by no means home clear, but she sounded for the first time actually enjoyed talking to me. We were on the phone quite a while, she even had to call me back twice with bank info, because I have no idea of my pin numbers or anything. She may call again tonight. I sure hope so! My spirits are lifted beyond anything I was expecting today. Still working, but there is a glimmer of hope.
For whatever reason these things happen. If kids are involved well, it's just hell untill 18. I have told many that it takes 5 years for monetary, mental and physical well being to reappear.
DO not give in to momentary laps in judgement always give yourself time to "Sleep On It" or think it through. Many fine men have been hobbeled by rash though.
If you have kids then you will always get the the "short end of the stick". Be involved at all costs. If you have no kids then go for the kill. Maybe not off the bat but if she has already left then it's just a matter of time before you get served. In regards with the one that left, suddenly things look better for her and all the burdens that involves a family are gone. or delayed. Sucks all the way!
Joe we have all been there done that, hope it works out Ok! She is a great girl, like said above give it a little time.
Phil
harbormaster
12-23-2007, 12:59 PM
Joe,
Do something you have always wanted to do (if you can afford it).
Take your mind off of it,
And try to have a good holiday season among friends.
DonziChris
12-23-2007, 01:01 PM
Been there done that, Hope all works out for you Joe.
Chris
catch 22
12-23-2007, 02:02 PM
[QUOTE=gcarter;433285]Joe, I was wondering when you were going to stop kidding yourself about her. It was so obvious to all the rest of us.
I've been known not to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, BUT WHAT THE F..K IS THIS SUPPOSE TO MEAN? Debbie and Joe are two of the nicest people Gina and I know. We feel for both of them. We hope everything works out for the best. :crossfing:
gcarter
12-23-2007, 03:12 PM
[QUOTE=gcarter;433285]Joe, I was wondering when you were going to stop kidding yourself about her. It was so obvious to all the rest of us.
I've been known not to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, BUT WHAT THE F..K IS THIS SUPPOSE TO MEAN? Debbie and Joe are two of the nicest people Gina and I know. We feel for both of them. We hope everything works out for the best. :crossfing:
It's real simple Jim.....I've known for years now that Joe was in love w/Debbie, but he was too defensive to admit it.
OK, now I'll take off my Dr. Phil cap!:wink:
The shop is closed.
gcarter
12-23-2007, 03:55 PM
OOOOPS!
One other thing.
I apologise if anyone took offense at my first response. I meant nothing negative about it.
My wife says I talk in topic sentences and sometimes the meaning of my statements are unclear.
I simply meant I knew Joe, like a lot of us, has a lot of baggage and history. I also knew he cared deeply about Debbie even though he didn't openly admit it.
It's simply refreshing to see a guy be honest about his feelings on a world wide forum. It takes a lot of guts to do it.
Good luck Joe.
Elaine and I will be praying for the two of you.
I must admit I took it wrong first George. You're right, I love her more than I would even admit to myself. I'm praying it's not too late.
As far as children, she has two married daughters, and a 13 year old handicapped son, who has been part of my life since he was two. He stays in a home in St Pete, and Debbie or both of us, pick him up every other weekend, stay here, then take him back.
She's going to come by my mom & dads on Christmas (they live in St Pete). I haven't told my folks a word, because mom knows how hard I took my last break up, 16 years ago, and I want her to worry. I did tell my sister just in case someone needed to know.
Donzi Racer
12-23-2007, 06:05 PM
Joe, no advice here, I'm not sure where to start. Just remember one thing, you and Debbie have a slew of folks here who are proud to call you our friends, and are rooting for you two to work it out. Hope it works out Joe AND Debbie!
Although we have never met personally, we have talked a few times, and we feel like we know you well because of this wonderful Registry. All we have to add is we feel like part of a big family and if one of us is hurting, we all hurt. We wish you the very best and we are not far if you need anything. We are in Titusville and love coming to Deland to get the chicken fingers downtown at some resturant below what used to be the South Trust bank. Might hollar at you the next time we come & we can talk Donzi's. Take care, wish you and yours the very best, Tom & Rose
Although we have never met personally, we have talked a few times, and we feel like we know you well because of this wonderful Registry. All we have to add is we feel like part of a big family and if one of us is hurting, we all hurt. We wish you the very best and we are not far if you need anything. We are in Titusville and love coming to Deland to get the chicken fingers downtown at some resturant below what used to be the South Trust bank. Might hollar at you the next time we come & we can talk Donzi's. Take care, wish you and yours the very best, Tom & Rose
Thank you. She's working as a bartender, at a downtown restaurant. It's in the old Artisan Inn, it's called the Warf. She seems to really like it there. If you happen in, ask her if she's the bartender with the Donzi tatoo. :)
I just got off the phone with her, just talking about nothing, except what she's been doing up there with her family. We were on about half an hour, and I enjoyed every second of it. Not talking about us, just talking like friends.
Hang in there, Joe. Things will get better, amigo. Good stuff follows good people.
Jim & Janet
mikev
12-24-2007, 04:29 PM
Joe I dont know what else to say but I will be praying for you and Debbbie. This is such an awsome board everyone was there for me when i went through my divorce a couple of years back.
Carl C
12-24-2007, 04:48 PM
Wow, I just looked at this thread for the first time. I figured it was about another boat or something. You've been a good friend to me here and I wish you the best. I really don't know what else to say except that you have a lot of friends to offer help and support here so let us know if you need anything. Even just to talk.
Last Tango
12-24-2007, 06:03 PM
Joe,
I hope that the Christmas spirit brings Debbie home to you. Or perhaps you to her. You two belong together.
I can't even begin to imagine seeing one of you without the other.
f_inscreenname
12-25-2007, 12:58 PM
Well there Cuda all I can do is speak for myself being I only know you from the web.
My last wife and I were together for a lucky 13 years. For me it was from 17 on. I really didn’t know what it would be like being alone and was scared as hell of it. That was one of the main reasons I put up with so much for the last couple years. I am a product of divorced parents (only met my dad twice) and having a child with my ex made things even that much harder. The day finally came. Not the typical breakup we have had before (couple days apart talking on the phone). It was the day that I knew it was over. I may have left the house that day but she was already gone from the relationship long before.
We had the same issues with money as you but instead of coming together like partners in life should I went one way and she the other. When I first noticed it, it should have been a wake up call that we were not on the same page anymore but I didn’t because things always worked out. It took a long time to face the fact that things don’t always work out. I look back now and think what took me so long and then I think back to then and know it was because I was scared.
If the both of you want it to work out it will. If there is one that doesn’t then let it go. There is nothing you or anyone can do to change it.
Get yourself around friends, family, hobby or something. Don’t stew! That will help nothing. As you said she sounds happier that she is back out doing her life. Without seeing the same from you she will only be reminded of the bad times. Also if you are back to living life (like when you met) she may find that she misses it and wants to be a part of it. Worst case she doesn’t but at the same time you will be able to move on and the pain will be less because of it.
Final note. And I’m trying not to be cold but it is the way it is. I didn’t invent the game I’m just one who played it and lost.
If you know in your heart that it’s over don’t be trigger shy. It is a must in this day and age. The one to fire the first shot wins Bro. Or at least will have more control over how things go. You may not even want the control but it’s better then others having control over you. I know this first hand and watched it many times. Lawyer up, take what means the most to you and hide it at your sisters house or mom’s (just tell them some BS why it’s there). There is no dirtier fight then a divorce (look at all the movies that’s made about it). It’s not always like that and if it’s not for you, you are luckier then you know.
I had to have a friend steal my boat back (we made up some papers saying that I owed him money and he was going to hold the boat collateral until it was paid, and it worked, even the cops sided with my friend, Like I said we were having money issues). My boat! She always hated it but she was going to keep it with everything else. If I wanted to leave then I got nothing according to her. Everything I had worked for or was given my whole adult life. She made sure of it to by calling the cops within a hour of leaving and telling them she felt threatened by me.
While I was being booked on someone saying “I feel threatened” she was at the attorney’s filing papers.
I was never allowed on the property again. The house I took from a condemned property to the nicest on the block, everything, even things with no value from family that had pasted was gone down to my yearbooks from school. Over the year (mandated in Maryland) separation and court battles I did get a few things back but not much and one lawyer payment of many was worth more then anything I got back all together.
Think with your brain and not your heart on this one. Sorry but I wish someone would have told me this (and I would have listened) the day before it all started.
My heart goes out to you Bud.
I appreciate the thoughts. It's not my first rodeo, I got divorced 17 years ago, and she was one worth keeping also.
As a matter of fact, I was in St Pete today to see my folks and siblings. I stopped at a buddy's house, and his girlfriend of ten year's twin sister is friends with, and works with my ex-wife. Like I told her, the only thing wrong with my ex was me. At least she did give me a second chance. This one is still up in the air.
I went to my mom & dad's today. Debbie was going to meet me there, just to keep mom from worrying about me, but I wasn't there five minutes before I told her. I told her not to worry. Then I called Debbie and told her she didn't have to stop, even though she was going by to take Kyle home anyway. I did meet Deb at a truckstop outside of Tampa, and it went as well as expected. I'm in a lot better frame of mind than I was all day. I called my mom halfway home, and told her everything was fine, then I called her again when I got here. I could see tears welling up, when I was leaving. I was hoping to at least spare her that over Christmas, but there's no way I could have pulled it off. Doing alright though. Deb is supposed to come by in the morning to help me go through some of these business papers. Still doing whatever I can.
onesubdrvr
12-31-2007, 06:40 AM
Joe,
I don't know you as well as some on the board, but have spent time with you and Deb both. All I can say it my heart goes out to you. You and Deb have both been friends to me over the years, and only hope the best for both of you.
Times are VERY tough right now, especially for the building / construction trades. I do work for alot of places that were in a 3 shift a day, 7 day a week manufacturing, and are now running 1 shift, 4 days a week, and still not having enough work to keep their guys busy. As they say, money is the root of all evil, and without diversity we can't grow.
I'm pulling for you guys, and hoping that you make it through this. You have realized it, and I'm sure Deb will too, and if you can make it through these tough times with her, I am confident that the rest of your life will be spent in her joyful company.
Best regards, and my love like a brother ;)
Wayne
Team Jefe
01-02-2008, 09:27 AM
Joe, I feel your pain Amigo, and wish you all the best. This will work out...even if how is up in the air. I've been around this block a few times myself and the only thing that kept me going was focusing on the future and an unwaivering belief that all things happen for the best.
Good luck, you are in my prayers.
Joe,
I don't know you as well as some on the board, but have spent time with you and Deb both.
I'm pulling for you guys, and hoping that you make it through this. You have realized it, and I'm sure Deb will too, and if you can make it through these tough times with her, I am confident that the rest of your life will be spent in her joyful company.
Best regards, and my love like a brother ;)
Wayne
Trust me Wayne, you have probably spent as much quality time with Deb and me as almost anyone on the board. You have a good idea of what we are like together.
Joe, I feel your pain Amigo, and wish you all the best. This will work out...even if how is up in the air. I've been around this block a few times myself and the only thing that kept me going was focusing on the future and an unwaivering belief that all things happen for the best.
Good luck, you are in my prayers.
Thanks Jeff, the thoughts of a better future also keeps me stroking. I sure hope she's a big part of my future.
I'm fairly happy right now. She called around 8pm, when she got up from sleeping because she's sick. We chatted for about half an hour, and it went well. She knows it makes my day to hear from her. I keep it light, so she won't avoid calling. It's cold as hell here tonight, and I told her, I had a fire built, and would like nothing more than to scrootch up to her, and keep her warm. :)
Lenny
01-02-2008, 10:10 PM
It's cold as hell here tonight
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Poor you Guys...
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/weather/01/02/winter.storm.ap/index.html
Even I could give ya 50 right now, HERE... :)
:D
I don't think it got as cold as was predicted. It was supposed to get down to 28, and stay below freezing for six hours. It is 33 just before daylight, which generally is the coldest. I let the three dogs sleep in bed with me last night. It was a three dog night
Barry Eller
01-03-2008, 07:17 AM
24 degrees in Gulf Breeze.
Good luck Joe!
My heart has been broken a few times too.
Denise and I will have our 7th Anniversary Saturday! It's a record for me. 3rd times the charm in my case.
24 degrees in Gulf Breeze.
Good luck Joe!
My heart has been broken a few times too.
Denise and I will have our 7th Anniversary Saturday! It's a record for me. 3rd times the charm in my case.
I've only been married once, but if I get another chance, I'll throw an anchor in her azz, if she'll have me.
DonziChick
01-03-2008, 08:31 AM
49 this morning in Big Pine
Kirbyvv
01-03-2008, 12:23 PM
6 below at 8:00 a.m. Glad it warmed up from last night.
BUIZILLA
01-03-2008, 12:28 PM
6 below at 8:00 a.m. Glad it warmed up from last night. :shocking: :shocking: :eek!: :eek:
Barry Eller
01-03-2008, 06:07 PM
I've only been married once, but if I get another chance, I'll throw an anchor in her azz, if she'll have me.
I wouldn't recommend that. Its a little too rough. Might hurt.:wink:
I think I'm starting to get over the hurt somewhat. Now I'm getting bitter. No call last night after she promised to call. She never even turned her phone on, so I should assume she has another phone. I left her a message saying if she does have another phone, to let me know so I don't have to keep paying for this one she's not using.
Lenny
01-04-2008, 08:45 AM
Now I'm getting bitter.
That would be stage 2. (recovery)
:)
f_inscreenname
01-04-2008, 07:50 PM
That would be stage 2. (recovery)
:)
Aaaahhh stage 2 :doh:
I don't want stage two. Brrn there, done that. The only thing in the world I care about, is getting her back. She did call befoe she went to work, which made my entire day. She said she'd call after work, which she did. She was suposed to go to St Pete tomorrow, which I offered to drive her there, and back. She called after work, and told me the cottage where Kyle stays callled her, and told her not to pick up Kyle, because he is real sick. Deb is sick too, so I had offered tp drive her to St Pete and back, whcih she was considering. That blew those plans out of the water. :( She's supposed to call me when she gets up. I really hope so. I'm not getting false hope up, because I really think she wants to break up, without hurting me, which isn't possible. As long as we are talking, I think there a chance, although I put it below 50/50 at the moment.
I don't care, if there is a 1% chance that I'm staying the course I'm in.
Lenny
01-05-2008, 01:21 AM
Joe, IF I was YOU, (let's preface this, I am not) I would put her in the same place that she put you. I would not be "available". Put the shoe on the other foot.
I would walk away right now and if she bangs on your door then you have something. She is NOT lonely right now (as you are) 'cuz she has you, (as has always) and your constant calls, receipt of her beconing etc, and whatever else is currently filling her day. Withdraw that, and she will be in the same place as she put you and then her mind will be forced to think about the situation created... ??
ALSO...
Do you really think this is the best place to spell/think/and talk about what is transpiring???
She can see your every move, as an anon or registered, and this is only becoming her "arena" if that is what she is doing in her spare time. Why not go offline, talk to your close friends, via email, not WW WEB, and play it out there? Seriously, if this is better for you then fine :) , but it would not be my first choice of a medium... Mine would be close friends, people I trusted, and neutrals...my dog and a beer... and lean on the boats...(most TRUSTED)
Lenny
highlnd@telus.net
250-474-4005
cell 250-361-8234
DonziChick
01-05-2008, 07:19 AM
I'm not so sure about that Lenny. If Cuda did screw up, then yes he should do something to get her back. I'm not saying to be completely available for the rest of his life, but something to say that he was in the wrong. If you didn't screw up Cuda, then Lenny is right.
Donzigo
01-05-2008, 07:47 AM
I would delete this thread too............
Distance seems to be the key to clear thinking.
Stay busy with things you love.
Don't buy anything
Don't make any big life altering decisions
For goodness sakes, don't do anything that would later sabatoge things
She never reads the board, unless I tell her to look at something.
Joe, IF I was YOU, (let's preface this, I am not) I would put her in the same place that she put you. I would not be "available". Put the shoe on the other foot.
Lenny
I sincerely think she would like nothing better, than for me to be out of her life completely, but I think if we stay in contact, she will see that she and I together are what would make us both happy.
BUIZILLA
01-05-2008, 08:20 AM
Joe....
1) listen to Lenny.... and Richard...
2) that Formula tattoo is for life....
then again, WTH do I know, i've been married for almost 34 years already..
:pimp:
gold-n-rod
01-05-2008, 10:20 AM
I sincerely think she would like nothing better, than for me to be out of her life completely, but I think if we stay in contact, she will see that she and I together are what would make us both happy.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Joe, but I think she's already decided what would make HER happy. :(
f_inscreenname
01-05-2008, 10:31 PM
Man! It's killing me to read this. Cuda, come on up to Maryland and help me build walls (real and mental) and drink beer. Leave the phone at home. The best thing you could do is get out of town for a few days. I'm here if you dont mind the cold.http://www.supernova19.com/forumcw/Smileys/classic/cold.gif
Formula Jr
01-06-2008, 02:10 AM
Women enjoin in the partnership, or they don't. You can reconstruct yourself in order to make things work, but that never really happens.
She shouldn't reconstruct herself either for you.
People don't really change. We change in to what we like, we change into what we are interested in, and that can change a relationship to come back together.
It is then, the other is newly interested.
The people involved always stay the same.
What we change are the events that make us happy.
A Happy Man, is the one she will want back.
But you have to be happy outside of her.
You have to have something that holds you together other than her.
Being happy, can sometimes be the hardest thing you have ever done in life alone.
It makes no sense some times.
Yet you have to do this, If you want what you've said you want.
Bitter, is a drug.
And of bitter;... you will need more and more of it.
Let go of that sequence now, and early.
Its a drug on both sides.
As a net-friend, can I ask you not to follow your anger?
Lots of people have been here....This is my advice.
hardcrab
01-06-2008, 09:06 AM
Damn Formula!
That has got to be the most insightful and realistic advise. It really gets to the meat of the matter.
Kudos to you , may many learn from this !
:yes:
gcarter
01-06-2008, 12:07 PM
I agree w/Owen.....
Times like these, though can be a catalyst for dramatic, fundamental change. But for yourself, not someone else.
For instance, people can choose to lose 50#...or more!
They can stop smoking, or lose addictions to other substances like alcahol. They can go back to school and maybe better themselves (I once went to a lady dentist who told me the only reason she was a practicing dentist was because she had been involved in a divorce). They can submerge themselves in their work, get out of debt and become very successful financially.
You get the idea, such times can be great for motivation.
Budmann
01-06-2008, 12:21 PM
Dude, Sorry to hear this one!!!!
Ummm, this may piss the women off, but Lenny is 100% right!!! I have found that women want what they think they can't have. If you are chasing her then she knows she has you. Now in saying that, if you really love her, you will have to know when to allow her back in your life, if that is where this ends up.
I wish you all the best!!
Bud
Cuda, Kristin & I have talked with you & Deb a few times.. You both seem to be good people.. Unfortunatley sometimes bad things do happen to good people. Sometimes working & living together can be tough too..
Both of us are sorry to hear of what you 2 are going thru.. Just play it cool and one way or another it will all work out.. Even if it is that you both just stay friends & move on seperate ways.. Just reflect back on the good & smile & learn from the bad..
Kristin & I wish you both the best.. :) Jamie & Kristin / Lakeside
.
I'm still around. I never thought I could be so hurt, or so lonely.
I talked to her this morning, and it went as well as can be expected, She worked daytime today, and said she'd call after work (5pm). She didn't call, and I was really down. I had to go to Ding Dong's house to have her witness a paper for me, and chatted a bit with her. She said she had told Debbie from the beginning, that it wasn't right for Deb to just take my truck. I haven't said anything to Deb about it, but she called this evening all pissed off, because she thought I had said something to Tarra. I haven't said a thing, and I think I finally convinced her. I don't give a damn about any thing other than trying to get her back, which I don't think is going to happen, but as long as we are talking, there is a chance, so I damn sure wouldn't say anything to piss her off. When she called tonight, after I got her calmed down a bit, we were talking some major stuff, and the guy that works for me, kept beeping me to go out, and she could hear it. It gave her a good reason to get off the phone. I explained to Allan later, that he should know, if I'm not answering him, there is only one reason. She got off the phone, and Allan felt bad about it, but I'm not bitter at him at all. He his wife (Nancy), and I went to the bar for a couple hours and shot some pool. I had a few drinks, but I have promised myself, I will not dive in the bottle like I did the last time I got my heart broken 17 years ago. I've only had a few drinks twice in the 4 weeks we have been apart. She's supposed to call in the morning. She's off tomorrow, but I know that she is sick. She knows that I'm not a bad guy, otherwise, she wouldn't have stayed nearly twelve years. I just need a chance to prove to her, that I have changed, and that things can be as good, and even better than our best of times. God, I miss her.
Call me a fool, but I don't care, if there is even the slightest possibilit of she and I getting back, I'll do whatever is necesarry. Any of you guys who have been with your ladies for a long time, but think you can survived without them, are only kidding yourselves, just like I did.
Lenny
01-10-2008, 08:13 AM
Any of you guys who have been with your ladies for a long time, but think you can survived without them, are only kidding yourselves, just like I did.
Mine dissappeared after 11 years, two daughters and building a house (dream) together. In hind sight, thank GOD she is gone and my "new life" is a thousand times better...and I would NEVER want to change a thing :)
Was it painful? YES, did the Laywers upset me? YES, did I miss the kids and the transition it created? YES, was it expensive? YES. Was it worth it? DEFINATELY YES. :yes:
And if either one of "us" now, is no longer having any "fun" in the relationship, I would expect to do it all over again. :yes: Would I change "myself" to accomodate another? NO. It never works, nor should it. You only live once, have some fun while you are here. :)
glashole
01-10-2008, 08:48 AM
Joe
everyone is going to have an opinion :nilly:
do not take offense to this but in my opinion you need to do this :smash:
next time you go out to shoot pool or whatever with your buddies,
sit down at a table and have the person directly across from you reach underneath the table between your legs and see if you still have a set :doh:
If you do start listening to Lenny :yes:
if they leave during the bad times why would you want them for the good
good luck buddy
Shea
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