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Cuda
08-16-2007, 04:07 PM
I just got this email from my mom. She said it fits Debbie to a T. :)

SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond
expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and
August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their
hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's
homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with
Southern charm:
Chawl'stn

S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between
a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don't

"HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a
mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long
"directly"is, as in: "Going to town, be back
directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is
not a request for the white, granular sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the
concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble
is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a
real crisis, they also know to add a large banana
puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a
noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in
lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to
everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is
plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat
them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red
eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and
lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on
the freeway. You just say ,"Bless her heart" ... and
go your own way
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed
by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a
dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless all
y'all's pea-pickin hearts, I hear they are fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have
lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to
hang on y'all's front porch that reads "I ain't from
the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends
are fahevah !

Now..... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised
in the South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little
heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could

Last Tango
08-16-2007, 05:17 PM
Yesserrie! Debbie is a fine woman. A Southern Belle, a huntin' partner, and she can change an alternator faster'n most men. All y'all can just dream about havin' that!
Cuda, you are a very lucky man.