View Full Version : Guys..... make sure you significant other reads this

12-23-2005, 08:39 AM
>>Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
>>Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
>>1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he
>>already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain.
>>As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
>>2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
>>ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words, "Hey George,
>>can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my
>>3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
>>3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99
>>cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his
>>rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. Again, no one knows why.
>>4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
>>bathrobes. If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have
>>invented Jockey shorts.
>>5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn
>>out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the
>>little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips,
>>and flips.
>>6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit
>>in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
>>7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or
>>deodorant. We do not stink - we are "earthy".
>>8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a
>>couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups.
>>Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
>>9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the
>>box. It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
>>10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
>>Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store,
>>Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's
>>Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if
>>he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I
>>need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks." )
>>11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will
>>barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell
>>him the gas leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
>>12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede
>>games are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A
>>Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
>>13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If
>>you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he
>>gets a label maker.
>>14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension
>>ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension
>>ladder. No one knows why.
>>15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at
>>least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8"
>>manila rope. No one knows why.