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Walt. H.
11-21-2005, 09:33 AM
SHIPWRECKED IRISHMAN & its not Matty

One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted
island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to
himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there
stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and
said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good
cigar"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she
reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars.
He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good
Powers Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years." Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. "Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front
of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling
man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too !"

:beer:

MrsDigger
11-21-2005, 09:35 AM
An Irishman is never drunk so long as he can hold on to a single blade of grass and not fall off the edge of the world....

mattyboy
11-21-2005, 10:08 AM
and the only reason why the poor Irishman got stranded in the first place twas the bloody Glastron sunk from beneath him beejesus, a fine booat it tis, built like a rock and float like one too

:rlol:

txtaz
11-21-2005, 10:53 AM
Ohhh this is way past my whit level. I think I'll be quiet....Ohh wait, I said something...I did it agian....Damn, I did it again....
Annonoymous

Cuda
11-21-2005, 11:37 AM
Matty is Irish???? Now there's a shocker!:shocking: :shocking: :shocking: :shocking:

:D

MrsDigger
11-21-2005, 01:31 PM
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their draughts, three flies landed in each of their pints and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, flicked it away, and continued drinking as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman picked the fly out of his beer and shook it vigorously over the mug, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT, DAMN YOU! SPIT IT OUT!!!":beer:

Patti
11-21-2005, 01:53 PM
:jestera:
I can appreciate that! funny stuff..My dad was from County Kerry and having been there a few times, I know all too well about those irishmen! :tongue:

mattyboy
11-21-2005, 02:08 PM
we do love our guiness ;)

Patty and Sean are out on Galway bay fishing when they hook an old oil lamp, as Patty is cleaning it up a jenie pops out and grants them each a wish,Sean goes first and says Make me and Patty both rich, the jenie grants his wish and now turns to Patty for his wish Patty says turn the bay into Guiness, the jenie grants the wish and disappears, Patty turns to Sean and says that was a fine piece of wishing there being rich is grand, Sean says to Patty well your wishing was not too shabby but the only problem now is we're gonna have to pee in the boat !!!

Walt. H.
11-22-2005, 12:33 AM
Excellent story Matty!!
For you I guess their boat was a Glastron and for everyone else its a Bayliner.

If it wasn't for Bayliner boats the age old question, "Does **** Float" would never have been answered..:jestera: :biggrin.:

mattyboy
11-22-2005, 08:55 AM
If it wasn't for Bayliner boats the age old question, "Does **** Float" would never have been answered..:jestera: :biggrin.:

kinda harsh there Walt aren't ya???? I don't think you are in the true holiday spirit :rolleyes:

Walt. H.
11-23-2005, 01:38 AM
kinda harsh there Walt aren't ya???? I don't think you are in the true holiday spirit :rolleyes:
Impostor!:toiletpap :smash: Who are you and what did you do with the real Matty?:embarasse