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harbormaster
01-10-2005, 09:28 AM
This is not meant to be a downer thread.

My dad was put in the VA hospital last week. Out of the blue he was diagnosed with cancer of the liver and pancreas. He has approximately 3 months to live. He is in a lot of pain and wants to stay at the VA hospital to manage the pain and not to be a burden on anyone. He will be moved to a Hospice this week at the hospital.

I spent the night with him Saturday night. I was devestated and teary eyed on the way up to see him BUT was smiling when I left him at 10 am Sunday Morning.

That night we talked alot when he could not sleep. We spoke about all the good things he had done and the poverty and adversity he had risen above to provide a good home for his family. Without him I would not have gotten half as far as I have. He is truly my hero.

He said not to be sad. He said he had had a great run, and now was at the beginning of an amazing journey. He was not scared or mad. Just a little irritated that it was happening at the young age of 72.

He said that after he passes, he will watch over me and try to give me guidance (in between my mom bitching at him).
Truly amazing.

If you folks have a minute post a little good wishes note to him in this thread and I will take them all up and read them to him. Jokes are good too. He mad a sad situation a time to reflect and rejoice. What a guy.

Dr. Dan
01-10-2005, 10:12 AM
:beer: Scott, I will raise a Toast to You and Your Father! As I am sure he is aware, or possibly not....his Son has been instrumental in solidifying relationships across the Country and the World. By continuing to Develop and Propagate the Passion of Donzis and all of the Great People that have come together over the years at various Events through Internet Access on the Donzi Net Site. As a 72 year old, I am sure he can appreciate just how unbelievable the development of the Internet actually is.

I can tell your Father that his Son has made a huge difference in my life, in that the people he has allowed me to meet using the Donzi Net Site...are like my extended Family...and that as a Father...he did real good in you Scott! :spongebob

Life is about the impact we all make upon each other while we are here, the Character that we develop as Men and Women, and the Morals and Values we instill in not only our Children, but as witnessed by those around us while each of us live our Lives! And I can tell ya ...we all mess up....no one is beyond reproach! But in the lessons we learn as we do go through our lives, and the many people each of us touch.....Your Father can and Should be Very Proud of the Lessons he instilled in you Scott, your generosity in your time and efforts that you so selflessly give each of us here....and your "Paternal Guidance" over the Donzi Registry like it is your child.

We should all hope to touch as many lives as you have helped each of us touch Scott through this Site....as just a nobody, but an Active Member...I can say I am proud to know you....and if you are Half the Man your Father is ....then he must indeed....be a Great Man! ;)

I wish him the Best In His Remaining Days, and I will Pray for him & your Families Strength .... and Health.

All My Best

Doc :smash:

mattyboy
01-10-2005, 10:15 AM
WELL SAID DAN,

Best wishes for Your Dad and your family Scot


Matty, Marie, Joe and Jamie

goatee
01-10-2005, 11:17 AM
what can you say after that????

just had the madcow dinner two nights ago. it was alot of fun.
but i would never have met any of those people without your son and this website.

boxy
01-10-2005, 11:58 AM
Scot, let your Dad know that the qualities he instilled in you made it possible for a guy from Canada to spend some time with a Texan, a guy from Georgia, and an easterner from CT, at a cottage owned by a couple from New Hampshire, and the minute we met we all felt like family. You may want to skip the "sippin' warm white wine while swimming nekkid part"

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad, and your family.
Boxy and Lou...

Team Jefe
01-10-2005, 12:46 PM
I am one of the fortunate ones. I actually get to spend time with you and see the values your upbringing has instilled.

Mr. Van Alstine, Scot is one of the finest human beings I have ever had teh pleasure of knowing. Your attitude in facing this adversity is admirable and not surprising. I see your optimizim in Scot. As you have already heard, his work and passion have allowed hundreds of people to become fastr friends with others across teh lake, across the US and across the world. Most people I call friend I met becasue of your son and I can not express what his friendship has meant to me.

You will be in my prayers and I too wish your remaining days to be ones filled with joy and anticipation to the wonderment we have in store for us after this life. Know that you son will not be alone. He has his loving wife and thousands of family members who care for and respect him dearly.

Via Con Dios Amigo

txtaz
01-10-2005, 02:36 PM
Wow, what a tough thread.
Scot, so sorry to hear the news. I almost lost my Dad once and know how hard it is. If there is anything you need, let me know. I am still taking time off so I can help with anything.
Mr. Van Alstine,
Your son is a most generous person. He has helped me in many ways, from where to get parts to just chatting about boats. Plus he's not bad on a BBQ grill (PK3). I hope he shows you the picture of when he and Mark broke down at Possum Kingdom. (I was warned not to take the pic, but oh well) It is true that the quality of values and time spent with offspring truely manifest themself. You should be a very proud father as your son has been a big inspiration and help to many. We will pray for you and help your son in any way that we can.
Best wishes,
Wes and Jennifer

Cuda
01-10-2005, 02:54 PM
Scot, you feel the same about your dad as I do mine, the greatest man that ever walked the earth. One of the main reasons I never got in bad trouble is I couldn't face my dad if I had done something wrong. Even if he didn't say anything to me, it would hurt me to think he raised a son that would do anything low life. One of the things I treasure most in my life is making my dad proud of me, and I'm sure your dad is proud of you. Mine is 77 now, and has had some health issues. I make a point to keep in touch and see him when I can. My most fond memories of growing up, were special time with just me and my father. I'm sure you had some of those too. Just a couple weeks ago, I had him come up to go fishing with me. He used to take me all the time, and now it's my turn to do it.

I really feel bad for people that didn't grow up with a father they could look up to and try to be like. Let us both count our blessings. I've always said I could wish for many things, but I couldn't wish for better parents I was blessed with, I'm sure you feel the same.

God bless you both.

MOP
01-10-2005, 08:21 PM
I am glad for you and your dad having a great relationship, I had a good one with my dad also he passed a few years back. A couple of days before Thanks Giving Bonnies dad passed he lived with us so he ended up being my stand in dad. Now nothing is quite the same, they were always there for us. I think that is what hits us the hardest knowing they are still with us but not. Your dad sounds like he has a good way about him, good old fashion stock something I have always admired. Scot do the best you can spending time with him it is very precious time for you both!

Bless you both!

Phil

roadtrip se
01-10-2005, 08:24 PM
who has a close relationship with their father. I unfortunately don't, but my mother's second husband has been my "pop" for over twenty years.

He has been through hell and back racking up six back surguries in almost as many years. He is scheduled to go in for a "routine" prostate lift surgery in January. Nothing is ever routine and it never seems to end.

But neither does his attitude. Being confined to a wheelchair, he still works out three times per week, drives most everywhere including to Florida, drinks a pretty stiff Black Russian, and generally drives everyone around him crazy. Just like he always has...

He was a big part of our decision to leave Texas and come back closer to home and we truly enjoyed the holidays being closer to our families.

Scot, Jill and my thoughts are with you, your father, and your family. Enjoy the time you two have left together.

Todd and Jill

Patti
01-10-2005, 08:32 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad http://www.donzi.net/ubb/frown.gif

You'll both be in my prayers..I lost my dad back in June of 2000..he was terminally ill and we hospiced him at home..was the toughest thing I ever did in my life..

My father was by far..my best friend and the person I was closest to besides Jamie and that void will always be there..

Just know that you'll be in all of our thoughts & prayers..and if you need anything let us know http://www.donzi.net/ubb/smile.gif

Formula Jr
01-11-2005, 04:06 AM
The stars will come
clear and bright
with the eyes of youth again.

This old body has been your friend,
but the stars await you and it simply
can't follow into this place of infinite love.

I hope I have at least some of your courage and faith when I am called back.

Your son has encouraged all of us to live fuller, deeper, bigger lives and to reach a little more, to fear others a little less, and to know that life gives us what we put into it and returns more than we may have ever thought possible.

Thats a fine legacy.

Owen.

rag top man
01-11-2005, 04:39 AM
As I read your post, the tears began to well-up from somewhere deep inside. Probably because I lost my Dad in a similar way. He was a bit younger, and just as frustrated at his 'earlier than expected' departure.

I was unable to spend any real quality time with him before he passed, and miss him more today than when he was still here with us.
Although my father wasn't as open, I'm sure that his thoughts were as loving and considerate as those of your father's words when he said he'd be watching over you. Its a simple thought, but so comforting.

We both love our Dads, and I can assure you, that among many other things, those words will be with you, and now with me, for the rest of our lives. Thank you Mr. Van Alstine.

And so, join me everyone, as I hoist a toast,
To Mr. Van Alstine:
A man I'd be proud to meet and know, and who unknowingly touched a stranger today. Please know, that we all take solace in knowing that you, along with so many of our loved ones that have passed, will be there waiting for the rest of us, with a smile on your face, while in a better place than what you leave behind.
Salute'

The Riley Family

anotherScott
01-11-2005, 07:15 AM
Scot, sorry to hear about your dad. I know you wil try to spend as much time with him as you can. Tell him you love him.
I lost my dad two weeks ago on Christmas morning. I have never felt this empty in my life.
So go hang out with him, and enjoy the time you have left. Proove the doctor's wrong.


Scott

Patti
01-11-2005, 08:59 AM
Scot, sorry to hear about your dad. I know you wil try to spend as much time with him as you can. Tell him you love him.
I lost my dad two weeks ago on Christmas morning. I have never felt this empty in my life.
So go hang out with him, and enjoy the time you have left. Proove the doctor's wrong.


Scott
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad passing http://www.donzi.net/ubb/frown.gif

My mom just left for the hospital for hip replacement surgery..it doesn't get any easier as they get older..

gcarter
01-11-2005, 10:49 AM
Scot, I agree with a lot of the other responses above. My own father passed away two years ago in Houston while I was here in Florida. He would have been 90 in about two more weeks. You're fortunate in that your father is close by. Take advantage of it.

Lenny
01-11-2005, 11:14 AM
Scot, truly sad, I don't know what to say. :(

But a note to your pop.

I am honoured to have met you. I really enjoyed the "tour" of the tree house when I was in Houston/Seabrook area. It was so neat to see someone else consumed with hobbies and building stuff and surrounding himself with pieces of his handywork. I loved the view from your tree top (pole top) lookout of the 30' high "Gazebo".

Best wishes.

Lenny and Gerry from Victoria, B.C. Canada. (You met us in Sept of 2002)

Marlin275
01-11-2005, 02:46 PM
A Dad thats there for you is a great, great thing.
Supports you and wants you to reach your ultimate potential.
Never wants anything more than the best for you and that makes a big difference.
My Dad was larger than life itself and he still is.
Now when I look at the stars in the sky I know he's still there, cause I still care.
I am a Dad and if I can do half the job he did, I will be proud.

Scot wish you and your Dad the best of everything!

CrackerJack
01-11-2005, 09:54 PM
My Dad passed away 10 years ago, and there are no words that can express my feelings for your family.

You are in our thoughts & prayers,
Jack & family

Walt. H.
01-12-2005, 03:07 AM
Scot and Mr VanAlstine Sr.

I'm at a loss for words to express my own feeling without repeating most of what has already been said by the good folks before me. But I can say that your out look to the next part of lifes journey that is before you reminds me of what my dad said, shortly before he past almost 26 years ago at age 70.

I myself have learned from all the good people that have gone before me is that, it isn't the quantity of year you live but the quality of those year you have given and shared with those around you. My own dad had a pretty good run too because I always said that the average person today would have had to live to be 110 yr's to accomplish the thing's he did back then and the places he had traveled to as a young man in the Merchantmarines back in the late 1920's totaling almost 22 yr's at sea and ending his sea duties during WW.ll just in time too. He was lucky because the tanker he was on was sunk by a German Sub - "U" boat, with all hands going down with it, just two weeks later after my dad got off of it to take up a civilian life because my mom was expecting their first child (my sister). My brother and I always said that if it wasn't for our big sister none of us would be here today. She's now gone too as of Jan, 12th 2001.
Of course there also was that time he was swimming in the Indian Ocean on a hot day when a tiger shark saw him and almost had him for lunch, but a buddy aboard ship keeping watch dispatched the big fish with a ready U.S. M1A-03 Springfield rifle at his side.
Well, I didn't put a joke in here but I did tell you some what of a funny story about my dad and like some dads was the original Archie Bunker.

Sir, I wish you fair weather and smooth sailing ahead, I solute you !!

Stay Happy and may God Bless you Both,
Walt

Ok here's that funny you also mentioned to add in if possible,

("A quick thinking Irishman")

Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten bed-room mansion, plus a savings account certificate for £5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club... (takes a breath) ...an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve onboard my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."

"Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again, "sniff, sniff... a prostitute dad!... Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug."

Sorry Matty :beer:

MOP
01-12-2005, 08:22 AM
I and many more I am sure have re-read yours and the follow up posts several times a day being drawn back by our own re kindled feelings. I feel there are few who do not get choked up, a fine relationship is always to be treasured and envied. I again leave a bit choked but proud to know you even from afar, from my dealings you "You are a "chip off the Block". Please give a heads up to your dad from me.

MOP

DonRatto
01-12-2005, 11:12 AM
Scott, my family and I wish your Dad the best, he is facing this with a resolve that I can't even imagine. If there is anything that any of us could do, please let us know. PS I do agree with Boxy, skip the naked part in the lake, although you could tell your Dad that it seems its real cold in Canada, hey Boxy. Again, please give your Dad our best wishes, the Eastern CT gang.

Team Jefe
01-13-2005, 12:52 PM
Scott, my family and I wish your Dad the best, he is facing this with a resolve that I can't even imagine. If there is anything that any of us could do, please let us know. PS I do agree with Boxy, skip the naked part in the lake, although you could tell your Dad that it seems its real cold in Canada, hey Boxy. Again, please give your Dad our best wishes, the Eastern CT gang.


Scot - you might skip the Nekked truth of the Donny-Ratto, Pilgrim, Boxy Lovefest :bighug: ......but the old man would love to hear about Mustang and Filly. As a matter of fact, so would I...do tell.

DonRatto
01-13-2005, 07:15 PM
Scot - you might skip the Nekked truth of the Donny-Ratto, Pilgrim, Boxy Lovefest :bighug: ......but the old man would love to hear about Mustang and Filly. As a matter of fact, so would I...do tell.

The Fishin Texan is correct, do not hold that one from your Dad, he must hear that one.

Blewbyu
01-13-2005, 10:06 PM
Scott- The hurt will dull as the years pass, but your Dad will always be that same 'anchor' in your life.You are most fortunate to have had the precious time with him that you had. Being able to say 'I Love You' and 'Goodbye' are so very comforting.Your Dad was a fine representative of The Greatest Generation! He did a pretty good job raising you it seems, this giant of a man. May you both, and your extended family, be at peace.Our prayers are with you.
Jeff and Kris Moore

DON N.
01-14-2005, 12:28 AM
Scott, I'm Pretty Much Speechless. Just Thought I Would Say Hi , And Hope Things You Have To Deal With Go Smooth. I,m Sure Your Dad Is Special And I Wish Him The Best. I Know It Is Hard But Stay Focused On Your Situtation ! Good Luck.

Surfer
01-14-2005, 08:00 AM
Scot, You and your dad are fortunate beyond words, not only are you able to be with your dad when he needs you most, you have had a long and loving life togather. Although, as you said 72 seems a little to young, I envey you and all aboard who have been blessed with this gift. My dad hasen't been with me for about forty years now, but we speak every day. I assure you that you and your dad will develope a very speacial relationship in the years to come. God bless, Rich