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GKricheldorf
12-09-2004, 11:44 AM
The Guys' Rules

> >

> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down ...

> >

> > Finally, the guys' side of the story.

> > (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

> >

> >

> > We always hear "the rules"

> > from the female side.

> > Now here are the rules from the male side.

> > These are our rules!

> > Please note... these are all numbered "1"

> > ON PURPOSE!

> >

> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

> > We need it up, you need it down.

> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

> >

> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

> > or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

> >

> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it

>that way.

>

> >

> > 1. Crying is blackmail.

> >

> > 1. Ask for what you want.

> > Let us be clear on this one:

> > Subtle hints do not work!

> > Strong hints do not work!

> > Obvious hints do not work!

> > Just say it!

> >

> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

>question.

> >

> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it . That's

>what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>

> >

> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

> >

> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In

>fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

>

> >

> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us

>to act like soap opera guys.

>

> >

> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

> >

> >

> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the way

>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

>

> >

> > 1. You can either ask us to do something

> > or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

> >

> > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

> > commercials.

> >

> > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

> >

> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach

>for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumkin is also a fruit. We have no

>idea what Mauve is.

>

> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

> >

> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like

>nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

>hassle.

> >

> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

>you don't want to hear.

>

> >

> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

> > fine...Really.

> >

> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

>

> > 1. You have enough clothes.

> >

> > 1. You have too many shoes.

> >

> > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

> >

> > 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the

>couch

> > tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like

>camping.

> >

> > Pass this to as many men as you can -

> > to give them a laugh.

> >

> > Pass this to as many women as you can -

> > to give them a bigger laugh!!

Fish boy
12-09-2004, 12:25 PM
So let it be written so let it be done. Amen.

Formula Jr
12-09-2004, 09:50 PM
1. We were going to do that anyway: turn out the light, close the door, wash the dish, walk the dog, etc...... Just because we didn't do it fast enough, doesn't mean you reminded us.

:jestera:

Ed Donnelly
12-09-2004, 10:42 PM
I read them all carefully and I can only agree to rule # 1 ..Ed

goatee
12-10-2004, 12:49 AM
that was awsome!!!!!!
right from stating they are all #1 for a reason.
i knew it was going to be good!! :spit: :spit: :spit: