MOP
10-18-2004, 09:11 AM
This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
The next time you have a bad day at work...
think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on
FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know
you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before
I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
is take the hose and stuff it down the back of
my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the
damage was done. In agony I realized what
had happened. The hot water machine had
sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,
the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the
crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch,
I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five
minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt
was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
think about how much worse it would be if you
had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job
The next time you have a bad day at work...
think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on
FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know
you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before
I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
is take the hose and stuff it down the back of
my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the
damage was done. In agony I realized what
had happened. The hot water machine had
sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,
the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the
crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch,
I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five
minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt
was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
think about how much worse it would be if you
had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job