Personal ads translated and more...

[Fish boy]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

[Sport]

That's the damn truth ! ! !

Sport

[thriller]

You hit the nail on the head..That is some funny stuff.LOL
MM:jestera:

[ToonaFish]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned hamper according to color.

Walk to bathroom, wearing long dressing gown.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make mental note to do more sit ups.

Get into shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 vitamins added.

Wash hair again to make sure it's clean, and then condition with enhanced grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner from hair.

Shave armpits and legs, turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower and spray mold spots with TILEX.

Get out of shower, dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair with super absorbent towel, and return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take clothes off in bedroom and leave them in a pile on the floor.

Walk naked to bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making a WOOWOO" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face and armpits.

Blow your nose in your hand and let water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend the majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash hair making a mohawk with shampoo...Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off, fail to notice water on the floor because shower curtain was left outside of tub.

Look in mirror and admire wiener size again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, take off towel and shake your wiener at her making "WOOWOO" sound.

Throw wet towel on the bed.

[Patti]

Ok, that almost made me spit coffee on my monitor lol

Very funny, and oh so true lol

[TuxedoPk]

Great post! Thanks for the well needed laugh. :)

[show-n-go h2o]

lol that was great