ToonaFish
04-04-2004, 05:50 AM
Cold weather
How various people handle the cold:
60 degrees and above
* New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat.
* People in Upstate New York plant gardens.
50 above
* Californians shiver uncontrollably.
* People in Upstate New York sunbathe.
40 above
* Italian and English cars won't start.
* People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
32 above
* Distilled water freezes.
* Sacandaga Lake's water gets thicker.
20 above
* Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and
woolly hats.
* People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt
15 above
* Philadelphia la ndlords finally turn up the heat.
* People in Upstate New York have the last cook-out
before it gets cold.
0
* People in Miami all die.
* Upstaters lick the flagpole.
20 below
* Californians fly away to Mexico.
* People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
40 below
* Hollywood disintegrates.
* The Girl Scouts in Upstate NY are selling cookies door
to door.
60 below
* Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
* Upstate Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes
until it gets cold enough.
80 below
* Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
* People in Upstate NY rent some videos.
100 below
* Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
* Upstaters get frustrated because they can't thaw the
keg.
297 below
* Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
* Cows in Upstate NY complain about farmers with cold
hands.
460 below
* ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale).
* People in Upstate NY start saying....."Cold 'nuff for
ya?"
500 below
* Hell freezes over.
* The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl.
* Upstaters still smoke outside their favorite bar!
How various people handle the cold:
60 degrees and above
* New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat.
* People in Upstate New York plant gardens.
50 above
* Californians shiver uncontrollably.
* People in Upstate New York sunbathe.
40 above
* Italian and English cars won't start.
* People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
32 above
* Distilled water freezes.
* Sacandaga Lake's water gets thicker.
20 above
* Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and
woolly hats.
* People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt
15 above
* Philadelphia la ndlords finally turn up the heat.
* People in Upstate New York have the last cook-out
before it gets cold.
0
* People in Miami all die.
* Upstaters lick the flagpole.
20 below
* Californians fly away to Mexico.
* People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
40 below
* Hollywood disintegrates.
* The Girl Scouts in Upstate NY are selling cookies door
to door.
60 below
* Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
* Upstate Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes
until it gets cold enough.
80 below
* Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
* People in Upstate NY rent some videos.
100 below
* Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
* Upstaters get frustrated because they can't thaw the
keg.
297 below
* Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
* Cows in Upstate NY complain about farmers with cold
hands.
460 below
* ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale).
* People in Upstate NY start saying....."Cold 'nuff for
ya?"
500 below
* Hell freezes over.
* The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl.
* Upstaters still smoke outside their favorite bar!