krakmeup
04-21-2003, 01:55 PM
Q: How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
Buy More Women
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY
Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)
PT Boozer
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time
FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers
FORD
Found On Rubbish Dump
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
Found On Rubbish Dump
For Old Retired Drunks
FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage
First On Race Day )
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R&D
MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled
GM
General Maintenance
Genital Motors
Give More
GiMme
Getting Malignant
Got Me
Grab Me
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man's Chevy
Gimme My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisistions!
HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Expect Every Problem
Just Eats Every Penny
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments
Kia
Keep It Away!
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Killer Implosion Awaits
LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image
LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
MITSUBISHI
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
MOPAR
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned
PORSCHE
PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything
SAAB
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Styling Absent After Buyout
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed American Buyers
Start Adding Additional Brake fluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum
SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?
A: I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
Buy More Women
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY
Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)
PT Boozer
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time
FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers
FORD
Found On Rubbish Dump
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
Found On Rubbish Dump
For Old Retired Drunks
FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage
First On Race Day )
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R&D
MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled
GM
General Maintenance
Genital Motors
Give More
GiMme
Getting Malignant
Got Me
Grab Me
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man's Chevy
Gimme My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisistions!
HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Expect Every Problem
Just Eats Every Penny
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments
Kia
Keep It Away!
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Killer Implosion Awaits
LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image
LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
MITSUBISHI
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
MOPAR
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned
PORSCHE
PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything
SAAB
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Styling Absent After Buyout
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed American Buyers
Start Adding Additional Brake fluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum
SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?