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krakmeup
04-21-2003, 01:55 PM
Q: How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
Buy More Women

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions

CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

CHEVY
Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet

CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)
PT Boozer

DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone

FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time

FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers

FORD
Found On Rubbish Dump
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
Found On Rubbish Dump
For Old Retired Drunks
FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage
First On Race Day )
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R&D
MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough

GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled

GM
General Maintenance
Genital Motors
Give More
GiMme
Getting Malignant
Got Me
Grab Me

GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man's Chevy
Gimme My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!

HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisistions!

HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside

Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Expect Every Problem
Just Eats Every Penny
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments

Kia
Keep It Away!
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Killer Implosion Awaits

LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image

LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Most Are Zealously Duped Always

MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon

MITSUBISHI
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside

MOPAR
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race

NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned

PORSCHE
PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything

SAAB
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Styling Absent After Buyout
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed American Buyers
Start Adding Additional Brake fluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum

SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Same American Trash Under Revised Name

SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?

DonzigoJR
04-21-2003, 03:07 PM
Very good.

Ford:
Fix or Repair Daily
Found Obviously Rear-ending Dodge

Honda:
Has Over-needed Nitrious Depreciating Acceleration
Has Over-age Nanny Driving Around

Nissan:
Nice Inexpensive Super Sedan Awesome New-car (I have one of these)

Chevy:
Cheap Heavy Eventually Vomiting Yoddle

UGO:
??????This one is bad?????


Miata:
My Inferior A$$ Targets Anal
Meticulious Interverted Appreciates Tasty Ass

:D :D :D
David

Rootsy
04-21-2003, 03:30 PM
FORD... ahem...

First On Race Day
Fastest On Race Day
F***in Old Rusty Dodge

GMC...

Gay Man Cruiser

AND an ode to chevrolet..

Ashed to Ashes...
Dust to Dust...
If it weren't for chevies...
OUR tools would rust...

Darrell
04-21-2003, 04:03 PM
These are great, but we might have missed one.

PEUGEOT...

Please excuse us, gutless euro overpriced trash.
:D :D :D


By the way,
GMC.....
GREAT MECHANICAL CREATION :cool:


Darrell

Brad Lyon
04-21-2003, 04:40 PM
Nissan? Isn't that just a Datsun!

Brad

DonzigoJR
04-21-2003, 05:06 PM
Watch it.

Ford:
First Over 2 Repair Drive-train
Fabulious Over-hauled Retarded Degreasers
Free Ofcourse Refundable Dump(truck)
Forgot Outbound Replacable Dogpoo
Fleet Of Redneck Deginerates(sorry) :p :p :p

Datsun:
Damn Awesome Transportation Sometimes Under Noticed


Im sorry.LOL :D :D
David

Ranman
04-21-2003, 08:51 PM
I always liked:

Failure On Race Day

****ed Over Recycled Dodge

goatee
04-21-2003, 10:01 PM
and dont forget,,,,fu@k#r only runs downhill

DonzigoJR
04-22-2003, 09:58 AM
Notice....there are not many post coming back for Ford. There must be alot of Ford owners that are not proud of their vehicles. I thought this post would create all kinds of comotion.

Team Jefe
04-24-2003, 07:04 AM
Y'all have your little fun. Those of use who get to drive these trucks everyday will have the lat laugh.

JEFE