Why did the Chicken Cross the Road

[Fish boy]

George W. Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against Us. There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore
I invented the Chicken. I invented the Road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Colin Powell
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Hanz Blix
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

Mohammed Aldouri (Irag ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. this is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

Saddam Hussein
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ralph Nader
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted.

Barbara Walters
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

John Lennon
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Aristotle
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

Karl Marx
It was a historical inevitability

Voltaire
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death it's right to do it.

Ronald Reagan
What chicken?

Captain Kirk
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more Chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Sigmund Freud
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken

Albert Einstein
did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Colonel Sanders
I missed one?

[DonzigoJR]

LOL....You forgot.
Donzi People: Did the chicken atleast cross the road in a Fast, Loud, Donzi....if not it took him to long. :D

[Formula Jr]

Dr. Phil.

Its up to you to find out why that chicken crossed the road. No body else is going to do it for you.

Dr. Laura.

Only a selfish and inmature Chicken would leave its family and cross the road. Chickens like that should grow up and become responsible hens, as god intended.

Oprah.

This week's book focuses on the personal struggle of a chicken rased in poverty who over came great obsticles to achieve her life's dream of crossing the road. Later on today's program, we will hear first hand the chickens reflections and inner thoughts.

Andy Roonie.

Ever wonder why Chickens cross the road? Here at CBS, I get a lot mail from people that think they know alot about it.
A Mr. Foghorn from Iowa writes.
"To get to the other side."
Now how does a chicken actually know which side of the road is the OTHER side of the road.

A Miss Little from Nebraska sent me this post card from the other side of the road. You can see here that its postmarked from Kansas.

I've seen alot of chickens and alot of roads in my 30 years of reporting around the world. And I've interviewed Kings and Common Men extensively on the subject.

Truth is, I don't think anyone really knows why a chicken crosses the road.

[Formula Jr]

Jerry Springer.
On today's program we have a Mr Rooster and his wife Mrs. Chicken. Mr. Rooster has wondered for several years why Mrs. Chicken has been crossing the road. In a little while we're agoing to introduce Mr. Rooster to Mrs. Chicken's secret lesbian lover, another chicken, that lives on the other side of the road.

Geraldo.
Can you hear me fine?
Here we are live on the side of the road. As you can see there is a chicken.
Wait. Wait. Yes, you can see the chicken has started to cross the road. Are you getting all this. This is fantastic footage. As you can see, she's now stopped in the middle. The tention is unbareable that this point. Will she cross it completely? She's taking another step. I'll see if the camera man can get a zoom shot. OH! There she goes all the way across. This is unbelievable.

[Formula Jr]

Cheroc.
Now that Le Chicken has crossed the road, France insists that we play a part in the international managment of the Chicken's affairs.

Mike Tyson.
Don't give a F*&% what kind of Chicken it be. Chicken cross that road, I gonna bite it's F*&%ing head off.

Richard Simmons.
Deep Inside of every chicken is a swan yearning to emerge. Every Chicken is so special . Visualize your inner swan. I say, YOU GO GIRL! Now, come on Ladies. Cross it! Cross it! Work with me now. Cross it...

Bucannan.
Its essental to the survival of our nation's core values, that we stem this tide of illegal Chickens crossing to our side of the road. If these birds can not respect our borders, I propose we construct a chicken proof fence to keep them out.

Gore Vidal.
Now I'm not saying that there was a conspiracy by the Bush and Reagan administrations to have that Chicken cross the road, but lets look at the events that lead up to it. And though there is no proof of any direct involvement, there is certainly enough peripheral evidence to suggest the hand of a shadow government at work.

John Denver.
Chickens, on the shoulder look so lovely.
Chickens, crossing roadways, makes me smile.
Chickens on the asphalt make me happy.
Why they wander over gets me high.
Why they wander, always, gets me high.

:D

[Cuda]

Engineer........now how do we get the chicken to come back?

[DonzigoJR]

MISS. CLEO- Hello caller this is Miss Cleo.
"Hi Miss Cleo this is the chicken. Everyone one wants to know why I crossed the road. Can you tell me why?"
Ohh Dear, I think your inter voice can sense that the Rooster has been with another Chicken. I see in the moon and the cards that he has been a little unfaithful. And your baby is not his.
"Well what do I do?"
Miss Cleo- Go Ahead dear and make the move to a new life. Cross the road...the grass is always greener on the other side.
"Thanks Miss CLEO"

Next Caller...........

Shortly after I saw the chicken making the attempt to cross back over when I heard,"SLam, BOOM, BANG, CRACKLE" if Im not mistaken it's a Semi that now has the chicken. Some of the chicken was left in the middle of the road. Most of the chicken is on the Tire and also the bumper. eek!

I hate it when that happens.....Damn Chickens

[Terry0341]

The French... "We will have no choice but to surender if she crosses the road" :D

[goatee]

some people just have toooooo much time on their hands!!!!!!

[Rodger]

I thought the chicken crossed the road to show the racoon that is is in fact possible to do so.