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View Full Version : Things you shouldn't say to or about your spouse



abelchinewalker
08-19-2002, 07:10 AM
You are at dinner with your wife and you are complaining to the restaurant manager about the bad service don't tell him that if 'you wanted bad service you'd have stayed home'.
This public service announcment was provided by a great father, good provider and a so-so husband.

HyperDonzi
08-19-2002, 07:21 AM
lol that is a good one.

abelchinewalker
08-19-2002, 08:45 AM
It's a true stroy, it took me a few months to post becuse I'm just getting the use of my fingers again.

Digger
08-19-2002, 09:08 AM
ouch...

also, if going on a trip, don't whistle while you pack.

gjohns6896
08-19-2002, 09:37 AM
How's THIS for a line:

"Does this coat make me look fat?"

"NO, your FACE does!"

HAHAHAAAA!!!!

That was from Tommy Boy.

George

goatee
08-19-2002, 10:34 AM
here's another true but fatal mistake i made
"you'd be real pretty if you had green eyes"
ouch!

Stepped Bottom
08-19-2002, 07:45 PM
I think it's a bad idea to mention his thinning hair (even if it is true).

Darla

ToonaFish
08-19-2002, 09:25 PM
He didn't really say that to the manager, did he, Stepped Bottom?

The worst I ever did? (That I admit, anyway...) I told the delivery guy who brought me two dozen roses from a boyfriend that he really shouldn't have, that this was just going to make it that much harder to break up with the boyfriend. Not ten seconds later, in walks the boyfriend. The "delivery guy" was his best friend, who flew into town to meet me, as he'd heard so much about me. There wasn't a rock big enough to crawl under.

Bunches,

Celene 'but it did make breaking up easier'

HP 600SC
08-20-2002, 04:51 AM
Ok. How about this one, "Your mom is a good kisser"

HP 600SC
08-20-2002, 04:58 AM
Or "I think we'll sell your Corvette and get
something that will pull the boat"
That one did'nt go over very well. frown

HP 600SC
08-20-2002, 05:01 AM
Or " No we can't get you a horse....I want a
to buy a fourth boat"

Stepped Bottom
08-20-2002, 06:49 AM
Yes Celene, I'm sorry to say Abelchinewalker did say that at the Roadhouse Grill. And to make it worse, he didn't even understand why I was annoyed.

Darla

harbormaster
08-20-2002, 08:35 AM
Used to work for a woman who was my boss. She was 50 years old. she was 6 ft blond and very stunning. I thought, If she is this good looking at 50 what did she look like at 21. So I told her one day:

"I bet you were really a knockout when you were younger."

Bad move...

mattyboy
08-20-2002, 09:36 AM
"used to work for " being the key phrase

LOL

there is no correct answer to does this look good on me? or does this make me look fat? I fake my beeper going off and run to the phone

another one to stay away from" I see someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning.

Matt
did I just say that :D

abelchinewalker
08-20-2002, 10:15 AM
When my wife and I first started dating I told her that "sometimes I say things I really don't mean" and whenever I screw up and say things like 'you're going to waste your degree in accounting and become a teacher?' or 'well my mom and I think you should stick with accounting'. I just fall back on my disclaimer.

abelchinewalker
08-20-2002, 10:46 AM
You will notice under Stepped Bottoms employment that she is currently staying home with our three wonderful well behaved children. I always thought that she had it easy and hell I could do this. Well, over the past few months I've had the opportunity to be home and see what happens here duing the day. This place had the chaos of a toy store on Christmas Eve, the traffic of a big city during rush hour, the noise level of a NASCAR race, she is not only a short order cook, she is a doctor, nurse, psychologist, referee, judge, and jury. Then I come home and wonder why she is stressed out. Don't get me wrong the kids are well behaved, but nobody wants to eat the same thing and everything is an emergency. Now gang I'm telling you this in the strictist of confidience, you can't tell Stepped Bottom I said any of this. I gotta go find her now, because I'm hungry and I need a shirt ironed.

Rootsy
08-20-2002, 11:26 AM
hmmmm "feverishly taking notes" not like it'll do me much good.. i always manage to stick my foot in my mouth somehow wink

The unattached one

ToonaFish
08-20-2002, 11:41 AM
J Root, that's why women like the strong, silent types!

Darla, does he throw peanuts on the floor at home, too?

Mr. Stepped Bottom, I used to try to explain what I did all day with three stepchildren, seven show dogs, and a husband only home two days a week. People still insisted that I didn't work for a living and implied that I must be bored... I finally just started telling everyone I watched soaps and ate bon-bons all day. That, they believed.

Bunches,

Celene "Does this make my butt look bigger? Really! No, really! I want the truth!.... Oh. We can't go out tonight."

HyperDonzi
08-20-2002, 02:30 PM
how bout this one, "wow, your sister looks AMAZING!!!" said that one a few days ago!!