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MOP
06-20-2003, 06:20 PM
If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her car broke down on the way home frorrl work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk,. she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. A\I the way hqme she putt-pu'tted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she-could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table he seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blind-fold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the 'pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled lik.e a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill, she took her napkin and fanned the air around her vjgorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, whiqh reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence. when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so 1ong, he asked her ifshe peeked, and she;assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blind-fold, and she was surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the tabfe to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

Ed Donnelly
06-21-2003, 12:55 AM
Beautiful punchline. Must have been Bushs beans. My mom brings them up for me when she comes north to visit. Too bad we can't get them in Canada..Ed

Walt. H.
06-21-2003, 02:19 AM
Phil,

I heard that one told only it was the guys birthday and he got "naked" thinking he was going to get something else while he waited blind folded. Same punch line, his friends, family and childred were all seated quietly at the same table. eek! eek! eek! eek! :(

Now that didn't happen to anyone here last week up at Lake George? :confused: :rolleyes:

Walt,ROFLOL

catch 22
06-21-2003, 06:41 AM
M.O.P., To funny. :D :D :D