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ToonaFish
05-09-2003, 11:58 AM
The Big Golf Match

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, then leader of Israel. "Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.

"None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result.

"I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness" said the golfer.

"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.

"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.

"There's bad news?", the Pope asked.

"Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by three strokes."

Terry0341
05-09-2003, 12:07 PM
LOL! Great stuff! Thanks for the laugh. :D

Steven Cohn
05-09-2003, 12:20 PM
Good one.

Ranman
05-09-2003, 02:55 PM
"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as
a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a
looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they
give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing
robes, the grace, bald . . . striking.

"So I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and
whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a 10,000-foot crevice,
right at the base of this glacier. . . .

"So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey,
how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he
says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed,
you will receive total consciousness.'

"So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." http://www.geneseo.edu/~jrv1/caddy107.JPG

mattyboy
05-10-2003, 11:56 AM
guunga guunga galuu wink :D nga!

goatee
05-11-2003, 10:58 PM
we got a pool,,,and a pond. pond might be good for you. yeah, anything to get the dirt off.