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View Full Version : Hmmh, I may have to take up golf this football season...



ToonaFish
08-03-2003, 12:07 PM
Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may shed light
on reasons why.

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.

Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.

Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them up.

The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year than the National Football League does in two.

You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a
seat in the nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or more.

You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try
that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. I brought a Coke into Oriole Park at Camden Yards last year, and an usher
came to my seat and told me I had to dispose of it, or I would not be allowed to stay in the stadium.

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

Golf doesn't change its rules to attract Fans.

Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.

Golf doesn't have free agency.

In their prime, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco
wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone." [Now he is wearing an orange jumpsuit.]

You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.

At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty
name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you. [Or vomits on you.]

Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can hit a baseball.

Golf Courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

This is a slice of golf history. I never knew why there were 18 holes. Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes, and not 20,
or 10 or an even dozen? How many of you golfers know the answer to this one?

During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to
polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

Now you know.

Ed Donnelly
08-03-2003, 05:52 PM
ToonaFish,You have an ornate plethora of knowledge,that amazes me...Ed

mattyboy
08-04-2003, 08:27 AM
obivously they have not seen Mattyboy play golf :p eek! wink :D FORE!!!!!!

Matty

tmdog
08-04-2003, 09:23 AM
Toona- - - no truer words spoken.Interest in sports has dwindled down to NASCAR, golf and boating. Not necessarily in that order. JIM

Fish boy
08-05-2003, 09:40 AM
Toona,
I always enjoy your posts, and this one is particularily insightful. In fact, I have a hard time arguing against your points, however...

Having worn a football helmet for many, many years, I can tell you that I will start playing and watching golf when the PGA allows golfers to run up to the person you are playing against, pick them up in the air, slam them to the ground and twist them into a little pretzel. When one can use those clubs for defensive and offensive purposes. When the caddies have to occasionally whip out the tape and put one of the golfers back together. Now that would be a great sport!

I will play golf when Terry Tate the office linebacker does. Then again, I think my caffeine is just kicking in so I could be over doing it a little. wink

Brad Lyon
08-07-2003, 09:57 PM
Why is it that golfers yell four, take six, but write down five?

Brad