Woodsy
06-24-2002, 01:01 PM
Found this in a medical journal...
Donzitis: A rare and almost certainly incurable mental disorder. This disorder causes the victim to uncontrollably purchase fast boats made by the manufacturer known as "Donzi". The symptoms of this dreaded psychological malady include, but are not limited to the following... The victims, babble on for hours about how their boat has a storied history, and they worship a relatively obscure offshore god named "Don Aronow". There are several lesser dieties they worship as well, a "Jim Wynne" and a "Walt Walters". These victims spend hours tirelessly researching thier boats history, purchasing almost anything related to or about "Donzi". They have been known to spend large quantities of money trying to get thier boat that ever elusive "just 5 mph faster". They are perfectionists, wanting everything down to the last nut & bolt "Perfect". They exhibit pack behavior, similar to that of wolves & hyenas, gathering with others afflicted with the same disorder. Although these people tend to apprear outwardly normal, they should be handled with extreme caution, lest they afflict you with the same dreaded disorder. The worst cases are outlined as follows...
Scott Pearson: He is most afflicted of the lot. It is his desire to own one of every type of "Original" Donzi ever made. His collection includes a 14' Donzi Baby, an 18 Barrelback (completely restored with an almost anal perfection), and a newly aquired 28 Sportsman. He is to be considered EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. Violence may occur if he is not succesful in his quest for a ultra-rare "Bench Seat Hornet". He has infected several people with his highly aggresive strain of "Donzitis".
George Desmond AKA Geoo: His quest for "just 5mph faster": knows no bounds. His 1972 X-18 has actually been documented going "Ludicrous Speed" and has been rumured to have actually gone "Plaid"!! His appearance of a normal guy with a wife & kid is just a cover... he is evil... his boat is evil... he is determined to go over 150mph with his small block chevy powered Donzi. The line in Vegas is 2:1 in his favor.
Chris Allard AKA CDMA: He is a protege of Pearson and Desmond. He exhibits the worst qualities of both. He collects Donzi's then tries to bring them up to "Ludicrous Speed". His collection includes a 14' Donzi Baby (Fishing, one of 9), a "stock" 350 powered 18 Classic and a 22 Classic with an Arneson Surface Drive. He is cleverly disguised as a mild mannered college kid, but make no mistake, this person is a criminal genius, capable of making people part with Donzi parts & paraphanelia at little or no cost to himself. Be very cautious when conversing with him. He has been known to stagger off at Donzi gatherings with a large bottle of wine.
Scott Van Alstine AKA Haabaahmastah: He was once a happy go lucky hacker employed NASA. Then he caught a bad case of Donzitis He started a website, that allows other victims of this psychosis converse with one another over the internet. His recent purchase of a Donzi 18 Classic, has caused the psychosis to progress so rapidly he is already attempting to rebuild it.
Steve Marr AKA Waleye: He is his own contradiction, mild mannered (ya right!) businessman during the week, founding member of the pack known as "Winni Bandits". A collection of serious alcoholics with a boating problem. This is most dangerous of the known packs of Donzitis. They have been know to invade other states and claim that territory as thier own, in the process breaking every liquor statute in that state, corrupting minors, and generally wreaking havoc even among those with Donzitis. Members of the Winni Bandits are to be avoided at all costs, and if you must, deal with them at your own risk.
Dr. Woodsy Von Freud
Donzi Psychiatrist
:D :D
Donzitis: A rare and almost certainly incurable mental disorder. This disorder causes the victim to uncontrollably purchase fast boats made by the manufacturer known as "Donzi". The symptoms of this dreaded psychological malady include, but are not limited to the following... The victims, babble on for hours about how their boat has a storied history, and they worship a relatively obscure offshore god named "Don Aronow". There are several lesser dieties they worship as well, a "Jim Wynne" and a "Walt Walters". These victims spend hours tirelessly researching thier boats history, purchasing almost anything related to or about "Donzi". They have been known to spend large quantities of money trying to get thier boat that ever elusive "just 5 mph faster". They are perfectionists, wanting everything down to the last nut & bolt "Perfect". They exhibit pack behavior, similar to that of wolves & hyenas, gathering with others afflicted with the same disorder. Although these people tend to apprear outwardly normal, they should be handled with extreme caution, lest they afflict you with the same dreaded disorder. The worst cases are outlined as follows...
Scott Pearson: He is most afflicted of the lot. It is his desire to own one of every type of "Original" Donzi ever made. His collection includes a 14' Donzi Baby, an 18 Barrelback (completely restored with an almost anal perfection), and a newly aquired 28 Sportsman. He is to be considered EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. Violence may occur if he is not succesful in his quest for a ultra-rare "Bench Seat Hornet". He has infected several people with his highly aggresive strain of "Donzitis".
George Desmond AKA Geoo: His quest for "just 5mph faster": knows no bounds. His 1972 X-18 has actually been documented going "Ludicrous Speed" and has been rumured to have actually gone "Plaid"!! His appearance of a normal guy with a wife & kid is just a cover... he is evil... his boat is evil... he is determined to go over 150mph with his small block chevy powered Donzi. The line in Vegas is 2:1 in his favor.
Chris Allard AKA CDMA: He is a protege of Pearson and Desmond. He exhibits the worst qualities of both. He collects Donzi's then tries to bring them up to "Ludicrous Speed". His collection includes a 14' Donzi Baby (Fishing, one of 9), a "stock" 350 powered 18 Classic and a 22 Classic with an Arneson Surface Drive. He is cleverly disguised as a mild mannered college kid, but make no mistake, this person is a criminal genius, capable of making people part with Donzi parts & paraphanelia at little or no cost to himself. Be very cautious when conversing with him. He has been known to stagger off at Donzi gatherings with a large bottle of wine.
Scott Van Alstine AKA Haabaahmastah: He was once a happy go lucky hacker employed NASA. Then he caught a bad case of Donzitis He started a website, that allows other victims of this psychosis converse with one another over the internet. His recent purchase of a Donzi 18 Classic, has caused the psychosis to progress so rapidly he is already attempting to rebuild it.
Steve Marr AKA Waleye: He is his own contradiction, mild mannered (ya right!) businessman during the week, founding member of the pack known as "Winni Bandits". A collection of serious alcoholics with a boating problem. This is most dangerous of the known packs of Donzitis. They have been know to invade other states and claim that territory as thier own, in the process breaking every liquor statute in that state, corrupting minors, and generally wreaking havoc even among those with Donzitis. Members of the Winni Bandits are to be avoided at all costs, and if you must, deal with them at your own risk.
Dr. Woodsy Von Freud
Donzi Psychiatrist
:D :D