Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

[Tony]

The recent post regarding spelling reminded me of the above question, and these:

Why do we need a hot water heater? If it's hot it doesn't need to be heated.
How can we have jumbo shrimp?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
Why does quicksand work slowly?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why do we call them apartments when they are all together?
If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?
Why does Denny's have locks on the door if it's open 24 hours?
Why do ships carry cargoes and cars carry shipments?
When will a building actually become a built?

[Tony]

Then, of course, are OXYMORONS...a few of which are listed here:

· act naturally · Advanced BASIC · airline food · almost exactly · alone together · Amtrak schedule · bittersweet · butthead · cafeteria food · calm wind · cardinal sin · casual sex · cheerleading scholarship · childproof · Christian Scientists · clean coal · computer jock · computer security · clearly confused · constant variable · corporate conscience · cowardly lion · dangerously safe · deafening silence · definite maybe · democratic machine · designer jeans · diet ice cream · divorce court · domestic bliss · double solitaire · educational television · essential service · even odds · exact estimate · extinct life · family vacation · federal budget · fish farm · flexible ethics · freezer burn · french deodorant · friendly fire · friendly takeover · funky white guy · good grief · good **** · government organization · guest host · healthy chocolate · hells angels · holy war · half naked · home office · idiot savant · ill health · industrial park · instant classic · intense apathy · least favorite · legally drunk · light rock · linear curve · liquid gas · lite beer · living dead · long sleeved t-shirt · marital bliss · Microsoft Works · mild interest · military intelligence · minor crisis · minor miracle · modern history · moral majority · natural blonde · new classic · New York culture · non-alcoholic beer · non-dairy creamer · non-working mother · old news · only choice · open secret · original copies · paid volunteer · peace offensive · peacekeeper missile · plastic glasses · plastic silverware · player coach · postal service · pretty ugly · private citizen · randomly organized · rap music · real potential · religious tolerance · republican party · rock opera · rolling stop · rush hour · safe sex · sanitary landfill · sanitary sewer · same difference · scientific belief · second best · sensitive guy · seriously funny · silent scream · simply superb · small crowd · socialist market economy · soft rock · standard deviation · straight angle · student athlete · successful suicide · sweet sorrow · sweet tart · taped live · temporary tax increase · terribly enjoyable · terribly pleased · tight slacks · train schedule · trial separation · turbo diesel · twelve-ounce pound cake · unbiased opinion · unhappily married · unsung hero · vaguely aware · virtual reality · war games · wholesome · working vacation

[harbormaster]

Why are their interstate highways in Hawaii??

[FASTEDDIE]

Why does Mc Donald's call it Hamburger when it has no ham in it?

[mattyboy]

why do our noses run and our feet smell? that's my favorite!!

love the avatar fasteddie , the hustler is one of my top movies of all time!! fast and lose!!!
see ya at the dustoff!

matt

[FASTEDDIE]

Mattyboy,
That avitar is Paul Newman and his name in the movie was "Fasteddie Felson". He was Jackie Gleason's challenger, when Jackie played the part of Minnesota Fats. I'll tell you the story some day over a pitcher of beer how I got that nickname and it had nothing to do with the speed of my Donzi Classic.

[mattyboy]

Fasteddie,
I love the movie!! my wife bought the vhs for me on our first anniversary some 17 years ago and paid big bucks for it, it was very hard to find just before the color of money came out( the sequel was ok but not like the original). my wife and I love to play pool. And I loved to hear the the story over a beer( or should I say a JTS Brown )and not a pool game!
I know not to play pool with a guy named fast eddie! :D wink

Matt

[Formula Jr]

I had a harty laugh one time after buying a 30 lb. anchor at a department store in
Oregon. The words are not exact but you'll get the drift.

"10 Year Limited Warranty. If for any reason you find this Anchor to be defective in any
way, please do not return the Anchor to the place of purchase. Send the Anchor in its
original packaging and with the bill of sale, prepaid, First Class, to: Acme Anchors, Portland Maine. We will then repair or replace said anchor at our discression. This is you sole remedy of a defective product."