PDA

View Full Version : From one of our friends in Canada (very true)



harbormaster
03-19-2002, 07:31 PM
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a
great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over
there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them superhuman, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loudmouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

marcdups
03-19-2002, 10:50 PM
:D eek! :D eek! :D

boxy
03-20-2002, 06:55 AM
Two Americans boarded a flight out of Salt Lake after the hockey game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before
take-off, a Canadian got on and took the aisle seat.
After take-off, the Canadian kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the American in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer." "No problem," said the Canadian, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the Americans picked up the Canadian's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other American said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Canadian obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other American picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When the Canadian returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Canadian slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on?
This fighting between our nations?
This hatred?
This animosity?
This spitting in shoes, and pissing in beers?"

mattyboy
03-20-2002, 07:11 AM
loud mouth bastards!!!!
I resemble that remark!!!!
no wonder molson tastes funny eek! wink :p :rolleyes:
hey I had a chance to met a Canadian Mounty at the St Patricks day parade. I real nice guy and a BIG SOB pretty intimidating in that uniform
Hey boxy enjoy the gold, cause the Stanley cup is going to Philly this year!!!!!
Matt

MikeStar
03-21-2002, 01:33 PM
Philly?!?!?! Puh-leeze! :rolleyes: Lord Stanley's Cup is coming home to Hockeytown! Get'em Wings! :D

boxy
03-21-2002, 01:56 PM
Matty you won't get by the Sens, and MikeStarr, as much as I love the play of our hometown boy Stevie Y, you guys aren't going by the Av's.

mattyboy
03-21-2002, 02:14 PM
doesn't look good guys with roenick hurt but I still like our chances,we owe one to the wings and we never forget!if our goalie is solid we'll go all the way

Matt

MikeStar
03-21-2002, 02:20 PM
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loudmouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."I think God was talking about Quebec. wink

Ranman
03-21-2002, 02:52 PM
There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said,

"There's some jerk out there that wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."

As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,

"and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half..."

The manager Okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager called on the boy and said,

"You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Canada, Sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just up-tight homely women and hockey players up there."

"Really," replied the manager, "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"