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harbormaster
01-02-2002, 12:53 PM
Since this is Bowl Season, I thought we could use some college football humor.
Disclaimer: I live in Texas where it is legal to pick on everyone.

(1) What does the average Mississippi State player get on his SATs?
.........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
..........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get an LSU cheerleader into your dorm room?
..........Grease her hips and push like hell...

(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
...........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?
..........To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

(6) Why is the Vandy football team like an opossum?
...........Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life?
...........His freshman year.

(8) How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
..........None . . . That's a sophomore course at Mississippi.

(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
..........Lexington, Kentucky . . . He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
.............You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday,
and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

mattyboy
01-02-2002, 01:47 PM
PMP LMAO :D :D :D :D

RedDog
01-02-2002, 03:12 PM
Good ones, but didn't you really mean:

(10) Why did the :DUNIVERSITY OF TEXAS :D choose orange as their team color?
.............You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday,
and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

2biguns
01-02-2002, 03:28 PM
(11) If football players from Florida State, Miami and Auburn are riding together in a car, which one's driving?


A cop.

Bandit
01-03-2002, 11:51 AM
Oh...but wasn't Tim Couch a Heisman candidate, #1 pick in the draft and a homebread KY boy?

I know, that doesn't matter because we still suck playing that kind of ball. :confused:

RedDog
01-04-2002, 01:08 PM
FLASH - LATE BREAKING NEWS REPORT - FLASH

Dateline 1/4/2002 - Knoxville, TN

Fans concerned - Coach Phil Fulmer last seen jumping up and down screaming "ITS MINE, ITS ALL MINE!"

RedDog
01-05-2002, 11:06 AM
Hey MP - you coming to Knoxville next fall? We needed a fallguy for our Homecoming game and have the 'Canes lined up.

Its going to be FUN!